Anyone been through mediation?

Autumn wrote:

Hi all

Just had second session of mediation. We have discussed a parenting plan so far and that has gone smoothly. Another 3 weeks to wait for next session on financial matters, that will be interesting!

It is just so weird sitting in a room with someone who I no longer know, talking about things I never ever imagined talking about.

Like you, JLGsDad I am hopeful that mediation will sort this out fairly and soon I can start to move on. Just feels like I am in limbo at the moment, still living in marital home with ex2b - please someone buy this house soon!!

Must be patient, remain positive and tell myself that in the long run this is for the best.



Take care

autumn

I know how you feel, I am in the same situation, in limbo, still living in the house with X2B and the kids, but at least I leave in four weeks as I am moving away.

We got it all sorted in one mediation session, and have just got the paperwork back. But I need to get one thing altered.

i'm just starting on mediation trail but don't hold out much hope of settling anything.

Been to first appointment with just mediator and now just waiting ti hear when first meeting with x2b is.
The reason i don't hold out much hope is because we came to agreement over her contact with our son and everything seemed ok we were able to talk and get things sorted along the lines of what our son wanted, then she spoke to her solicitor and everythings up in air again, says she does not gree to anything any more and says her solicitor has told her what to go for and not give an inch at mediation, and to give no regard to what our son wants andto just consider her self which is what shes done for the last 10 years since he was born.

Just returned from 2nd Mediation session. Have a further appointment next week.

Session two, cost to date (for me) £150 plus £70 on cab fees, Mediation centre miles from home!.......... and still no Financial Statement from him.

Continued disputes over the value of the house(s) - but at least he agreed to £200,000 more than what he'd said in first session. He continues to undermine (and deny) my contributions... and so we made no further inroads.
(Apart from him clocking up his 'Brownie Points' to show a court he 'attempted' to mediate).

Unless your partner is honest, and accepts your contribution to a marriage, I see no point in Mediation. The mediator agrees that he can not see a resolution, (outside of a court), which he advises will costs many thousands of pounds.

Ex refuses to give a Business valuation, stating that to audit it, would cost around £4,000 (so instead he just gives no valuation, and states I have no right to claim against it)!!! So, we went around in circles, shouting over each other.

I've told him, I'd go to next Mondays meeting, in the hopes of getting a financial disclosure from him, in order to assess what claim I make.

Before Mediation started, he'd offered me (verbally) £100,000 . Then he spoke to a solicitor, and he withdrew that offer. Now, he's verbally denied the first offer, and offered £24,000k

I made him (us) £600k richer!!!! And he offers me £24k

Nope, I don't think so!!!

X2b just cancelled our third appointment.

So AMEN to mediation for us! He doesn't want to go.

Good luck to all with mediation.
Any advice on mediation where the 2bx is just using mediation to delay the court process and the inevitable divorce because she simply does not want to give in and allow the divorce to go through. Also 2bx will use the mediation process to vent her emotional issues. and as a way of off loading and venting all her frustrations of the last 4 years because other than text messages the separated parties have only ever spoken through their solicitors. BTW the 2bx was the person who wanted the marraige over. All marital assets have been divided and the remaining issue is maintenance and who pays the legal fees.

People vent when they see each other face to face, because they are human beings!!! We marry for love, and we need closure to help us through the emotional turmoil, which the current system does not deal with.

When we're at our weakest, most vulnerable lowest point in life, we're then expected to deal with the massive pain, frustration and fear of the divorce process.(And expected to stay on top of a legal system that is draconian, and doesn't speak our language).

The UK legal situation, (re Divorce) is not geared up to helping with any of the emotional grief that naturally occurs. So, it's no surprise that to sit in a room, face-to-face with a once loved and trusted person, (now your enemy), stretches all human coping strategy to breaking point.

Blame doesn't come into Financial settlement. I think this forum exists for the massive VOID of pain, suffering and despair that society is not dealing with.

If she does vent, then it's because just maybe: SHE NEEDS TO !!!!

If they were still polite and amicable, they'd probably still be married!

Well I went, the mediator I thought was good, he agreed to let me have them a Tuesday for a few hours (kids), then csa were chasing me on the phone the next day, I give him what they want, but he wants double that.

then 4 hours later the mediator calls and says he has changed his mind, !