Anyone been through mediation?

Sera

Do you have any evidence that he is lying re finances? Or is there a way to get evidence?

Once he has filled in his financial disclosure and it is passed over to you, if it then goes to court and he is found to be a lying S***, it will not look good for him.

I guess you can challenge him at mediation once he has completed disclosure and ask mediator for advice. If you really believe that he is being dishonest then it will never be a fair process.

It must be very frustrating for you, hang on in there.

Autumn

Yes, I have evidence that he's lying. Bascially, we had a valuation on our marital home, (from an estate agent)...

B-U-T: We weren't seling through an estate agent. I've spent over a year, negotiating with property developers that wanted to buy our land. My poker-playing-skilled-nogotiations pushed the price up a third more. I asked my x2b for half of that profit share. (Massive!).

In mediation, he's now stating he doesn't wish to move, and will only accept the estate agents valuation, (yet he's told a property developer that he'd sell to him once we're divorced'. (I have proof of that!)

I have not sought to claim against anything else. (Although we've not got around to discussing it yet). Also, he does a lot of cash work, or has cheques paid to his 80 yr-old (tax exempt) dad, who in turn pays my ex's credit cards etc. He's declared his businesess as of '0' value, (erm, yeah right!), not that I'm claiming against his business assets. Ho-hum.

Yep, I have lots of proof of his lies.

my ex's lawyer suggested remeidation, to cut long story short, he won't give me the kids, i've had to fight for a wednesday night over night and Sunday during the day. The judge doesn't like me as i'm staying with someone else 10 miles away.

ex has totally belitteled me in front of kids, said rememdation won't work ,waste of time but he has nothing better to do. he is claiming to be a poor dad etc. I suffered with mental abuse for 10 years and finally got out and went back for kids , he got me beaten up.

left with clothes standing up in, said i'm getting nothing from the house and I will never see my kids again. lawyers dont' seem to be helping!

will remedation work, what happens if it doesn't?

Relate won't touch it if there is violence so I am surprised that it was suggested if your ex had you beaten up, particularly with a history of other forms of abuse.

If it doesn't work then I assume you go to court, but more knowledgeable people will advise about this.

good luck!

Sadie

I think the judges put the kids first, and what's least disruptive to them. So, it could be the ten-miles away bit? How does that fit with school runs etc?

Not sure what you meant by remdiation?? You mean to try again? Mediation will only work if the two of you consider each other, which it doesn't sound like he's doing.

Relate won't deal with 'Active' Violence (ie: within the last 3 months). They'd refer him to a mens group.

it was his family that got me beatenup. I work in the town they live in, so i pass the school every day, i've told this to the judge, but she doesn't seem on my side.

meant mediation. he says it won't work!

The Courts will frown upon him for not attempting to Mediate. If there are issues he refuses to resolve, (financial and kids), and you have to go to Court for a settlement, you should have your legal costs met because he is refusing to talk amicably and sensibly.

Remember though, the costs of recovering monies, may be more than the money you're fighting over.

If you were beaten up by hus family, you can have them arrested, you can press charges, (against the aggressors) and have them cautioned formally by the police, or charged with Assault. (The Police will advise if they think you have a case, not sure if you need to prove injury?) However, if they receive a Caution, I doubt they'd come back for a second 'pop' at you.

It takes the commitment of both parties to Mediate sensibly, so if he won't, then it won't work.