Anyone been through mediation?

been to my third meeting today and don't seem to be getting anywhere. My s2bx still has not provided all the paperwork requested by the mediator, but we tried to move on, he asked us to say what we felt a far settlement would be my x2b stayed quite so i said i would be looking for a 70/30 split on house and endowment with her paying cm, or 80/20 and i would not claim cm, on my pension i would prefer her not to claim on it as most was paid before i met her, mediator worked out a figure for time we was married and said we could descuss that amount, so i said if she did make a claim on pension i felt she should pay the charges involved. Mediator asked her opinion and she kept saying she doesn't understand so mediator spent time explaining it all again to her then she said her solicitor has told her she is entitled to at least 50% of every thing.

Mediator explained in his experiance if we fail to agree and it goes to court although the starting point is 50/50 things are taken in to considertion and he feels it may be a 70/30 split in my favour as i'am pwc.

She then said she wants half of my redundancy i got in 2006, i explained that she spent a lot of that before she walked in april 2007 and the rest has been spent on solicitors fees, and our son to try and maintain a reasonable standard of living for him, her answer was to say it doesn't matter if its spent she still wants her half, it was at this point she stated she has changed solicitors and will be going for custody of our son and she will get all the money and i will have to pay cm.

It was at this point the mediator decided to call it a day and give us time to think of what has been said and go back in march to see if we can agree on anything.

Good to hear from you. It doesn't sound as though it's going that well but just try hanging on in there. The penny might drop once your wife has had some time to reflect on what was said. If you look back over this thread you will see that's what happened in JLGsDad's case. Don't worry about residency the Courts won't want to disrupt your son without good cause especially as he presumably doesn't want o live with his Mum.

Mark,
Just wanted to echo Fiona's point - mine went pear shaped over a couple of issues last August, but subsequently both me and STBX recognize that it is still the best way forward and will return to mediation to resolve matters soon. Never say never - emotions are high. Reflection allows us to see common sense, eventually. Best of luck Mark
Mike

thanks to you both for the positive support, mediator says if we cant agree in next 2 meetings its pointless going on and we should try some other way, he suggested we talk to our solicitors now all details are on the table and see what therir advice is, hoping hers will make her understand that the costs of going to court will give her less then settling in mediation, and as for our son he has constantly made it clear that he wants to live with me and only have contact on his terms which is basicaly that he does not meet her new bloke.
thanks again for the support

maggie wrote:

Does the mediator draw up the Consent Order?

No the medaitor will prepare a draft memorandum of understanding and a Statement of assets and liabilities which you should take to your respective sols to be presented to the court for a consent order to be rubber stamped