I've ruined my life

Not been on here for a while. My life is moving on. BELIEVE ME KARMA WORKS. What goes around comes around. Tough luck on the baddies Im afraid .My list of Karma is endless from most of her family losing jobs to father being put in a OAP home. MIL moving right behind her business(a lifetime dread) . Her falling off her bike and injuring herself. Ex lover taking revenge by email to all her friends and her mose being broken into. Lost the respect of her daughter. Smug..you bet and believe me Im not a nasty person. Take care Polar

Thanks Polar, thought I'd not seen you for a bit.

Glad that your life is getting better mate

It does give you a warm feeling knowing that they are getting their just desserts....shame in my case that it's so harsh.

Hi I just wanted to say how sad I am that you guys have had to go thru so much. I know no-one is perfect and there are always 2 sides but it seems to me there is no such thing as amicable.

I have just read this whole post after seeing the topline in the current 'headlines' in Community and hated the thought of anyone feeling like they'd ruined their life. Divorce is crap but not worth ruining yr life over.

So I read and read and just respect and feel for all of you who have posted and supported each other. My situ is different but no more amicable. I knew it wouldn't be so started from a position of 'expect the worst'. I was right. Sad cos we really could have done it in a civil way but I guess pride gets in the way too.

Anyway, thanks for making me realise how much time and energy wiki people are prepared to give each other...and I hope it all works out for everyone in the end.

PS I hope ypur MIL has a peaceful time. Your reaction to her just shows your true nature and I'm so sorry that you will lose each other before long.

Guys,

are you actually saying that you are feeling comforted by the suffering of your ex-loved ones? Am I getting the wrong end of a stick?

The human being is a complex creature and what separates us from most other animals is we have feelings. When another person you have devoted (invested) your care , attention and love in for a great number of years hits you with the statement 'I dont love you anymore' without giving any prior warning it flattens you. Believe me Ive been there. (as have others have too). Then not content with flattening you emotionally they try and flatten you financially it is little wonder that scuicide is a viable option. Then as they skip merrily off laughing in your face leavng total and utter chaos behind you are faced with rebuilding something (yourself, your life, your finance etc.) whatever it is but the hardest thing is rebuilding trust in anyone again ever again. I wont go into the stories but when you are not flushing the loo to save water bills whilst the other half spends everything they have on expensive holidays and 5 star hotels to get their side of the pot to nothing I am afraid that yes watching the other side start to crumble does give some satisfaction. At the same time hopefully you get stronger yourself and move on but when you have been battered that is so difficult as many posts show. Im sure that if it wasn't for the support of friends and family and this site then the scuicide rate would be much higher. And you also find out who your true friends are as well. Yes you rebuild but is it ever the same ?. Funnily enough I talked this morning to somebody I am seeing (relationship wise) and they agreed with the fact that you are unlikely to commit again to the same degree, a shield of self protection is placed around you. Last night I looked at all the people who I knew in similar situations. The number is increasing rapidly. What a sad society we are beginning to live in. Isolated, untrusting and as someone said to me ''walking around with painted smiles'' . And in todays society where everyone blames someone else regardless this is one instance where the law is totally wrong in not proportioning blame. So off go one set of characters skipping into the sunset unscathed. Leaving one character floundering with the mess.
Oh by the way I have moved on. Bumpily. Thats why I have not posted for a long time. But one thing I do see is the youngsters left floundering as a result. They dont commit any more. They dont form bonds. They have seen the consequences and are not going to be caught up in that kind of mess themselves. Watch some TV programs and you will see that the ''tread on''...''vote someone else off'' ''win at all costs'' mentality prevails. What a sad society we are going to end up in. Rant over
Thanks to all who gave me advice. Held my hand. Looked after me.
Take care Polar

Polar,

I am sorry to hear about your hard times.

Just wondering really, why is it that we allow others to treat us disrespectfully and then get upset when they do. Wouldn't it have been easier not to put up with unreasonable behaviour in the first instance, then we wouldn't need to do so much of "investing" into another person or the relationship.

I've been there, done that, not going to put up with anything I don't like anymore, but for sure will trust again, just be more selective in the future.

People say that they have moved on, but then you read their messages and there is still so much of 'hurt talk' coming through that it makes me believe the past is still present.

Hope we all find true piece of mind and happiness.

Hi Mav
I too thought I could trust again. Yep I wanted to. But as you say the hurt is still present. It probably never goes away and stays in the background. Oh Im very carefull not to let any info about my current/past situation out. (unless asked directly and then only minimum info) But then they are playing the same game and neither of us opens up. Goes back to how much you trust. And so they dont trust you thinking you are hiding something and vice versa. The present and future is what we should be looking at but far to often the past creeps in with kids/finances etc. So the baggage kicks about and we all have that baggage in one way or another. Its just so sad that the guilty ones get away with virtually no baggage and those left behind get swamped by it. Maybe thats why I implied that there was some satisfaction when some of the baggage (read problems) gets transferred to the other side. as a friend said to me in the early stages. You probably had a lucky escape as karma will certainly kick in. And it does. But I will end by saying that I dont understand how some people put their hand into the fire hand dont expect to get burnt. And maybe it hurts that you cannot be there for them when it happens. Take care Polar