I've ruined my life

Hi

What a horrible scene...

Is there any way you can make sure that you visit your MIL
WITHOUT your W being there. I think that would be the best option. At least the W would not need to be spoken about, or poke her nose into your business.

Perhaps your boys might like to visit their grandma, with you, but not the W being there.

Try not to get into any verbal exchanges with your W. She loves it. She sounds like she is wanting to be the poor little victim in all of this.

You do not need to speak to her, you do not need to see her, and if it were me, I would make damn sure that I did not have to do either.

You get on with your life now, and I see by the sunglasses that you are really Mr Cool now

I am glad that you now are at the point of not wanting to emotionally support your W, that is good. Use that energy for yourself.

Sometimes we have to be hard, sometimes it pays off.

good luck

zara

Thanks Zara,

I have had differing thoughts on talking to W and my leanings were to avoid her at all costs. I haven't had anything more than one call in 3 months and that is despite several requests for information.

I am fully intending to visit MIL on my own. I did manage that this time and it's much easier to talk to her with only me there. I can ignore what I feel inapprpriate then and not get drawn into petty and pointless arguments.

My 2 boys are also NOT discussing me or W with MIL and are keeping out of discussions. I am managing to avoid confrontation as much as possible. (hence me now agreeing with you NOT to see W)

Oh and my new life is great..I have to wear the shades as it's so bright!!!

Wooo hoooo that is great Lsot!! maybe you can send some of the brightness my way

seen all of this with a friend of mine who sadly passed away 2 years ago, alcahol got him in the end ironically by a fall whilst drunk and ended up with brain damage, he said the very words that you have said with all the same intentions he even recognised he was an alcaholic but again a symptom of this sort of illness is in effect a search for sympathy, I really do wish you luck and its going to bea hard slog but for the love of god mean what you say, you caused it you can mend it really is as simple as that.

Street,

Many thanks for taking the time to reply. I have moved on far away from where you have managed to read to (I guess). There is nothing left to mend now, it's all glued back together in a fashion that will suit me for the rest of my life and everything is far better than I could or would have ever expected.

Lsot1 honey,

I think you've made such a long journey, people read the beggining of your post and skip to the end without realising what a progress you've made. :)Bless them...

Mav,

I know, it took a lot of time and patience to get here, it takes more to read how it happened

I always appreciate people taking time to reply though.