Trust

Hi to all
Met up with a guy I had been chatting to online. I liked him, he appeared to like me. Had a little kiss & cuddle before saying goodbye yesterday.
By this morning convinced myself he was up to no good, didn''t really like me & was probably a player. Phoned him & told him it wasnt working for me.
My stbx lied & cheated for years & years, I only found out when he had already had a new life & new woman for years, he just hadn''t told me yet.

Terrified I will be ''fooled'' again, humiliated & hurt again.

Caley wrote:

Terrified I will be ''fooled'' again, humiliated & hurt again.

You sound so like me.. This is the sort of thing I do. Is there any hope for us? Doubt it.

I understand all the trust issues. I think a lot of people on here will agree with you and me. Its really hard to trust anyone again after what happened to us. Yes love is a loosing game. Ok you and I lost that one but does that always make us loosers at the love game? But do you think you went a bit far with the kiss and the cuddle? Dunno. I was sl*gged off once for not doing it and praised once for not doing it. But what it does do is promise something more. So I think the jury is still out on that one and I think we have to play it by ear.

But what do I know? Not a lot. Apart from one thing. Still have his number? I would ring him back and give him another chance. It could also be that you are like me, we have attacks of no confidence where we say, no one will ever want us or love us. Bad, but I think we are wrong on that one. So... I would ring him and tell him that you are sorry and you want to give it a little more time to see what happens.

But I would explain where your coming from. I have had the same words said to me. And if he is anything like me, I would understand. Ok, you may not end up as lovers. You could end up friends. And we all can never have enough friends. C.

Caley,

You have been horribly hurt and betrayed but don''t allow your ex to ruin the rest of your life!

So you have met this guy, whom you must have liked quite abit I''m guessing to share a kiss?
Nothing in life is guaranteed but we have to take a chance sometimes:)

We all have to move on at some point otherwise the alternative is to remain locked in the past.That''s not healthy for anyone.

Have you children? I''m sure they would love to see you happy again..

Hello , thank you for your advice/observations.
perhaps should clarify was not a ''snog'' more a peck and a hug.
And yes, do feel unloveable at times.
Need to work on that.
Thank you for understanding.

You may feel unloveable at times but it doesn''t mean you are either incapable of giving, or receiving love.

If you like this guy and would like to see him again then let him know.

He has probably been hurt himself and is feeling the same emotions as you.

Take a chance.

Hi Blue
Yes he has been hurt, perhaps just as damaged.
I have tried to contact him but to no avail.
I suspect he has pulled up the drawbridge & fortifed the barriers, as I did.
no one wants to be hurt again.
I wish I didn''t feel anything sometimes.

Caley,

What do you mean by your last statement, are you feeling really down at the moment?