Trust

FFS
It''s meant to be fun
Drop the baggage.
Don''t date if you''re that insecure do everyone a favour.
All the best
HRH x

Hi Blue
Yes,
If I didn''t feel anything, i couldnt be hurt again.
I know that doesn''t make sense, but sometimes wish I didn''t ''feel''

Haway,

Bit insensitive, I think she knows that already.

It''s just about being brave enough to take that first step, it does get easier.

Believe in yourself

Hi HRH
FFS
Yes I do know it''s supposed to be fun, telling me, doesn''t change how I feel, at this moment in time.

Hi

Can I make a suggestion? It may be wise to seek some counselling or at the very least read some self help books before dating again. Everyone wants to love and be loved, it is a basic need BUT when people pull others into their emotional baggage It is unfair on the new person entering into that drama.

What you are experiencing is a form of transference, because your ex did X or Y you immediately expect another man to do the same and that is not fair on any honest and good ones out there. You are hanging something on them that is in fact your issue and nothing to do with them.

None of us are perfect but I do feel that we all have a responsibility and a duty to others to look after our own emotional health. Entering new relationships with old baggage is a disaster and will most likely end up in either attracting someone with similar issues or attracting a carbon copy of your ex.

You have been through emotional difficulty so use this as an opportunity to heal yourself in whatever form is acceptable to you.

Good luck,

EA

Caley - hugs!

It sounds like you are not ready yet to venture back into the world of relationships, you''re still very much hurting.

It''s a stage most of us have been through - that wanting to care for someone and wanting them to care for us, but still holding on to the fears and demons of the past.

Some continue in the new relationships and hope the new person can fix them or take away their pain, but imo we need to fix ourselves first otherwise we bring a whole load of unsolved issues into a fresh relationship.

Be kind to yourself, have fun, heal.

There is little point in seeking a relationship until you are ready to trust. There is no point going into a relationship without it.

Take your time and don''t put any pressure on yourself or beat yourself up.

Big hugs to you and feel proud of yourself you are one step further down this path of healing.

WR x

The dating scene is a rough and tough world. And you have to be strong enough to enter it and sorted enough to survive it. There is no point dating someone and realising for instance that you dont like them or really dont fancy them and not be strong enough to say goodbuy and or hurt there feelings. Thats why "friends" is the better course of action rather then having expectations of a relationship and all it contains.

My best friend is someone I actually dated. We realised that we didnt fancy each other enough to form a relationship but liked each other enough to be friends. And over the last 6 years, she has been my best friend. And we dont want to ruin what we have. So we have never crossed that line.

And Pete is right. It should be fun. Dont take it too seriously at first and see how it progresses. Having to many expectations leads to pressure. And you dont need the pressure. Just see how it progresses as friends first.

I know this is going to sound a bit old fashioned but want to mention sex. Having sex with someone is crossing a line for most people. I am not talking casual sex. I am talking sex with someone that you are friendly with. And for a lot of people, having sex with them forms a special bond with them. And we should only have sex with people that we wish to progress into a full relationship. If we let someone go and we had sex with them, there is a lot more hurt involved then there may have been had we not crossed that line. C.