Feeling really lonely today

Mirfield

I agree with both you and JessieJ and there is part of me that knows he chose to do this, he chose to lie, he chose to deceive as it turns out both me and this other woman. He told her that we were separated but still lived in the same house and told me I was going mad because she was just a friend! So on one level I know it was calculated but on another level I know he is very very remorseful - perhaps I am just being a fool - I don't know.

Linda

x

Ladies,

Despite what I said, which i truly believe and stand by. I can understand what you are saying Linda about believing him. I too would willingly believe my husband if he rang me tonight and told me he had made a mistake.

The reason for this, is I STILL WANT TO TRY TO MAKE IT RIGHT! I have been denied the chance to try and it bothers me. If at least I tried and gave him a second chance, it might not work out but at least I could say I tried.

It may be hell on earth to try after what has gone on.... but I hate being the one who didnt have have the opportunity to come to this decision on my own terms .... I was dealt the card as a done deal!!!

In Lindas place, I would probably still give it a go ..... to get closure if nothing else!!!

I'd bloody well make him come home now though .... bugger Xmas. oh the hoops he would have to jump through first though!!!!

JessieJ

I think part of me feels the same way - I didn't get a say in any of this and I think that is one of the hardest things to come to terms with - it wasn't your choice.

I know this sounds really old-fashioned but I believe that when you have children you should only be able to get out of a marriage when you can honestly say you have done everything possible to make it work - I am not saying for one moment that anyone should stay when they are thoroughly miserable and everyone has a breaking point - for some people their partner only has to cheat the once or lie for others they take much more before they split for whatever reason. I believe everyone has to do what is right for them.

As far as waiting until Xmas - he has to give three months notice which takes us to October anyway otherwise the company could claim a substantial amount of money back from him as there has been a whole relocation package etc. He has already said he would come back tomorrow but on a practical level we will be in a financial mess and I don't think that would be a great way to even begin to try and rebuild our relationship.

I do also feel that I need this time and space to come to terms with things - everything is so raw at the moment and I need to deal with what he has done in my own head if that makes sense.

Linda

x