Feeling really lonely today

Hi

How many of you hate the weekends now? I have had the worst day ever - sent stupid text to husband and now regret it. He rang me had a big row and he basically said if I want a divorce go for it. He says he has finished with the other woman but is staying in China for the rest of the year to finish his contract. The last couple of weeks he has been texting me and ringing me upset and crying saying he's really down and then today basically said get on with it. Just want to curl up and die. I have to take my son to a school leavers party in an hour and can't stop crying at the moment to get myself together.

Why do they play with your emotions - have been so strong lately and really thought I was making progress - feel like the early weeks when I first found out today. Can't wait to go to work Monday!

Feeling tearful


Linda

Oh Linda .... I feel for you and recognise the emotions.

Weekends just seem so much worse .... during the week you just get on with stuff but at weekends theres too much time to think.

This whole divorce and separation thing is just the pits.

Just as you think you are getting things together then wham! you feel like its day one over again .... Someone told me its all about acceptance and each time you go through it, its a little more real afterwards and you become a little bit stronger .... Bloody cruel way of doing it though.

Try and do something to take your mind off of it ... find a good book or a good movie and 'escape' for a couple of hours. Think of tomorrow as another new start.

Thank you JessieJ

That's exactly how I feel today - like day one - I even have the feeling back in the pit of my stomach which I haven't had for weeks now - keep crying as well which I haven't done for a while. I know tomorrow will be better but this is bloody tough. Wouldn't wish pain like this on my worst enemy.

x

Hi Linda

Sorry to hear you're having a bad time of it today. Just try to bear in mind that maybe his emotions and moods will be going up and down as well. Maybe he's sat on his own somewhere having very simialr thoughts to yours. Just becasue he's said something today doesn't mean that he'll feel that way tomorrow, or that this is the way he'll feel from now on. I'm speaking from personal experience here, this whole thing can be a real rollercoaster and I've said things (and been convinced that I mean them) that now don't reflect how I feel at present. There are so many variables and emotions here that the situation and how we respond to it can change hourly

Like Jessie says, a film or some TV or any escapism you can find will help you over this hump. There are steps forward and unfortunately there are also steps back. As long as the ones forward are more in number, we are progressing

Take care

Sun
x

Thanks Sun

I know you are right about the emotional roller coaster thing and I know I have been guilty of saying things that I don't really mean - somehow when the other person says it you really believe they mean it - perhaps he does but he said things like that before and then admitted he said them in the heat of the moment. I think to be honest probably like alot of us on here neither he nor I know how we feel from one day to the next.

I'm just so upset that I really thought I was more in control in the last month but today just makes me feel god have I been pretending all this time. I know you are right and I did go out for a drink earlier this evening for an hour with a friend which helped. I know tomorrow will be better.

Is yours a good or a bad day today?

x

A good day today thanks Linda. But we all know how fragile these things can be, so I plan to enjoy it while I can

Linda, sun & Jessie, so glad I found this thread. Today am coping better past two days have been hell. I haven't had too many problems coping with the weekend till now. Thursday reality really hit home - HARD. This is it this is how my life for the forseeable future will be.

Sun you hit the nail on the head with the rollercoaster of emotions. I thought I had got over the worst but it was always there in the background.

Have felt physically sick for past day and a half. After refusing to do so x2b has now signed the petition. I was not expecting to have any emotion but relief from the hell I've been through the past 9 months. Instead of that am feeling nearly as bad as I did in the beginning. Wishing to god this wasn't happening.

I couldn't go back to my old life and the lies and abuse, but I don't want this. I just wish there was a fairy godmother who could wave a wand and take all the hurt away. My eldest daughter is really taking it hard at the moment and that is so hard to cope with. Her emotions are all over the place. Making it even harder to keep a check on mine.

Ended up sobbing my heart out in folks kitchen yesterday. Hadn't broken down like that for months. I hope not to do it again for a while.

Not sure if it is a good idea but meeting x2b tomorrow to discuss not only finances but why he suddenly left when everything seemed to be ok and why he lied andcheated for so much of our sham of a marriage.

Although I need to know, I don't know if it will help or make things worse, I just hope for some closure. Trouble is how will I know whether or not he's telling the truth. He never has before so why break a habitof a lifetime.

Sorry I digress but I need to talk to someone as I am going nuts here. Even alien couldn't block out the thoughts raging round my head tonight.

I just want it all to end - not my life but the hurt and the horrible emotions that go with it the overwhelming pain it causes. Has anyone got any ideas how to cope. AD's take the edge of but not numb it enough.