i tried to kill myself yesterday

Smurf.
you have hit the bottom now there is nowhere else to go but up.
I think that once you are definite with the path you are taking ,you will realised that life is precious and you have everything to live for.
I believe your husband is messing around with your emotion.If he cannot make up his mind ,to stay or to go,you must take matter in your own hands and boot him out.
Start being proactive for your future instead of reactive.
It is not going to be easy but better than just sit and wait ,he picks you up and drops you at his fancy.
Many of us has had that feelings but you acted on it.
make sure that you never have too much alcohol because it is a depressant and never keep a lot of pills in one place and never at the bedside.
You are never alone unless you chose to be.
Nobody is worth being dead for.
mext time you are tempted to do something like this remember this

when you are dead ,it is fine no problem for you except for those left behind and who are these people--Your children?? your Parents?? siblings??
Now the worst one -what about if you do not die and end up a in a vegatative state?
fancy spending the rest of your life in nappies,being fed by tubes and your children becoming your carer.??
I think not ,so get there fight and kick ass of those you have to but most of all live your life.this bad episode is not going to last for ever.
Once you are gone ,there is no coming back ,you cannot say you have made a mistake.-dead with no return!!!

((((((((((WIKI HUGS)))))))))))

Welcome to the first day of your new life. It may be hard, it may be different. But it will be a new beginning..believe me.
Stay with us and get the support you need...after all we might need your support !!!