Social services are ruining my life

thie thing is it wasnt even that serious they told me they were taking her before he was born as the amount of p[olice logs to our home and neghbours interefering he has grew up in a house with foster children as his mom fosters and he would never harm a child the social worker even said that herself the issue is me and him holding our tempers with each other.

and he never used to beat me up we were violent to each other but peopel cannot jus say oh you had history it caan never get better becuase it can im sikof people judgeing us when there are drug addicts still aloud there kids and alcholics but to people who every1 can see loves there daughter and jus had a few past mistakes dont get given a chance we were as bad as each other but realised that.

we are going to the social worker monday and telling her our plans but im also going newspaper to tell them of all the lies and rumours that have been brandished about us to make us look like bad parents ive already been on the radio so im jus going to keep fighting it

I see a woman blaming herself and excusing his behaviour , there is no excuse for any violence , everyone on this site has had a pretty tough time yet MOST haven't abused someone .

Domestic abuse is not just about beating someone up there is alot more to it then just that ,even constant shouting , shoving , slapping , spitting all adds up to abuse and noone wants any child to grow up in them surroundings .


As for neighbours calling the police I think that's good too many people ignore things like this .

You keep saying "past mistakes" but we are only talking about a few months ago here. nothing much has changed about your living situation and he has done nothing to get any help with his issues, surely his first point of call would have been his GP or asking the social worker what help they could give him.
You cannot say he will never harm a child, I bet if you were asked when you first met him whether you thought he would ever be violent to a pregnant woman your answer would have been "never". How wrong you were. As for going to the papers and the radio, what for? to complain about the social services doing their job and keeping your daughter safe?

my neighbours for one were very racist to us and they would say we were doing things we wernt so that is not our fault as for the violence i was the one who started it which was rong. and my situation has changed alot i proved i am a good mother and that i can keep ym daughter safe the only reason i was given a chnace is becuase i am her mother. and when given the chance to prove i would not be violent again i proved it. the only reason he hasnt done anything yet is that we are not sure what will work and wont wont. we onl had 3 incidents of violence and they were both ways. i dont minimise my situation and i say mistakes as i no they were rong what i done and so does he we want whats best for our baby. and yes the papers becuase alot of things happend that were rong and my solictor and his think the same thing. and he would never harm a child he is not that type of person i was more more viloent one and i would never ever dream of doing something so sickening like harming a child as i changed my ways for the best of my daughter and all he wants is that chance but we ar jus sscared of them takeing her if they find out we are trying to become a couple again but only when things have become more settled and our issues with violence have been resolved.

you can sit there and think we are not thinking about our daighter but we are that is why i got help and he wants to get help but we need to no the right steps to take inoreder to do this

Taya

You need to stop deluding yourself.Turning up for a couple of classes for a couple of hours and getting a certificate doesn't mean feck all in reality.
Give it consistent living in poverty with no money coming in.A baby that don't let off crying.Sleep deprivation.You two both stressed off your heads and then you are in situation where with both your dispositions to be violent it will all kick off.Having a baby is fecking hard work and you get really strung out.Anyone who says it ain't ain't ever had a kid.
Just think about the reality rather than the Jeremy Kylesque "But I love him"
All the best
Pete

Taya

My ex started being aggressive, shouting etc etc when I was pregnant with our first child. That child is now 20! And we only parted a couple of years ago.

Over the years he would smash stuff up, then me and eventually one of our daughters he would hit.

I wasted years on this man, always making excuses for him and listening to him apologise and cry.

Walk away now with your little girl and start a new life!

i understand what you are all saying but it was me who began to be violent to him its weird but that is the way it happend. i no being a mother is hard but i love my baby and i have put up with the endless crying becuase she is my daughts i and i no that a classes wont be the answer to the problem but its a step in the right direction and i can see that he wants to change just like i wanted to change. the classes will be that start in the right direction and if he is deteremind as i were then he can do it as i did i turned my violent ways around and now when i feel angry or upset i have methods of sorting it so it dont effect my parenting. nobody is perfect in this world and all you can do is try your best we have failed at that in the past for now we have a child there is no more room for failing.

can someone jus help us in finding the right steps to take to approach the social worker or guardian to show them that we are serious about getting our lifes back on track for the better and for our family. on monday he is going to join an abuser group and undertake some counselling thats what i did and it workerd wonders for me but we need help in how to approach the social worker and guardian to let them no what is going on as i dont want to be secretive with them i want to be open and honest