Really feel like ending it all

Hi everyone

Having a really really bad day today - my stbx is currently in Australia attending his daughter's wedding even though he promised our youngest son (whose just 11) that he would come back from working in China to see him for a week. It's not that I resent him being at his daughters wedding (two children from first marriage) but I feel so hurt that my son's pain doesn't even enter his radar. Am I being unreasonable? My son is currently seeing a counsellor and is having a really bad time - meanwhile husband has withdrawn £1500 from bank account to travel to Australia when he knows my son is having the time from hell. I just can't stand taking not only my own pain but my children's pain as well - have been strong lately but just want to give up.

Sorry for the rant but really want to curl up and die at the moment.

Linda

X

Hey Linda

You rant away it if helps, don't apologise!

You're not being unreasonable, your husband is the one losing out with his silly promises, but try and think of his daughter and how she'd feel if her dad wasn't there.

You've got a lot to handle at the moment and it's no wonder you're having a bad time. Hang on in there, your son needs you. You will both get through it by the strength of your love. Look after yourselves.

Hugs.

hi linda

im so sorry your having a really really bad day.

i cant give you any advice at the mo but just wanted to say be strong, (hhhhmm that is advice i guess !)

you need to rant sometimes, it just helps...

big hugs and rant away !!

Daisy
xx

It's really painful to see your child suffer over ex's behaviour. But, there is nothing you can do to change your ex. Yes, it is sad for your son, but he has YOU- and he will know how much YOU care. If you carry on waiting for ex to behave in a way that you think is appropriate, you are wasting your time and your life. I suggest you just carry on being a supportive, loving mum to your boy. It is, unfortunately, going to be a life lesson for him, if his Father lets him down- but if you are there for him, he will get through it, and maybe even be able to help others in the future, as he will really know what this feels like.
You are not responsible for your ex's behaviour- take a deep breath, give your boy a hug and a smile, and carry on. You will both survive this!

Hi Linda
I really empathise with how you feel. My youngest daughte is only 6 and worships her father ( although god only knows why). We werent married but in a 7 year relationship which ended following his constant abusive behaviour to me and name calling and allegations about my sexual conduct ( all untrue needless to say) and he has drifted in and out of her life, never supporting either me or her financially. His latest stunt is to up sticks and move from his rented accomodation to christ knows where. although his mobile is still active and rings out he wont answer calls or texts and my baby is so desperate to see her daddy and so hurt. We only split recently with finality and dealing with my own pain is hard enough but having to see hers kills me. I hate him for what he has done to me but i could kill him for putting Ellie through this. he seems incapable of putting anyone before his own selfish self. I should have known as he has daughters from a previous relationship who he hasn,t seen since I refused to orchestrate his access visits and have thema t my house ( because he was never there when I did it, and i doubt they came to see me). Its so hard to see your child suffer. I seriously suspect that the philandering was his and he has replaced us with new models!

Doesn,t help the children.... but it feels good to get it off your chest

CheleX

((((((linda)))))) rant away, it is is a truly tough time. You are worth everyting and those sort of feelings hopefully will pass. If hitting real low ring your gp. I cared for my s2bx through suicide days, section attempts and severe mental health etc etc, don't go there for your kids, post and post and post and go see your gp. I do understand your feelings though as after found out about the barmaid I hit the point where I really had these thoughts running through my mind, I felt like i no longer wanted to exist as the hurt was too much, but it passes (I am in counselling now to deal with emotions), the kids are too important to go through losing mum and dad. xxx

Linda, im sorry you are so upset, be strong as your son needs you and you can always rant and rave on here....its the best way to be. Dont give up, im sure that your husband will spend some time with your son when he gets back and yes I do think he is being unfair on your son which is why it is so important that you try and give him the stability he needs. Dont apologise for offending anyone, we all have to say how we feel and if you cant say here...where can you stay, just try and remain focused

Take care hun and big hugs

Saffy xxx