Sometime to be Ex just wont let go and plagues me.

I have awful problems with my wife not accepting our separation, which has now been almost 3 years. While we were together we were distant and she more or less ignored me, did not consult me even on major changes to the house and was always more interested in her friends and family than me. But even after this time she wont leave me alone, emails all these desperate emails that are a mixture of aggression and pleading. The thing is I am still basically a bit scared of her, crazy I know, but true and I still try and appease her. She is still even now controlling me.

Just wondering if others had suffered in a similar way and can offer any advice. Since she has found out I have my girl friend visiting of course she is even worse.

Hi

One thing I have learnt since my separation is that people can only hurt, bother, upset, bully, control etc, if YOU let them. You don't have to put up with this if you really don't want to. If you want to respond to her emails, then you will. Its up to you!!! Even though I left my sx2b and filed for divorce, I tried to keep in touch for sake of kids but he completely blanked me - basically got me into a lot of trouble. In the end, my solicitor advised me to cut all contact completely. This was incredibly difficult, especially concerning kids and finances. Anyway, now he wants to talk to me. Yeah, right. Who is he kidding.

Its up to you!!

Hi Lilliann,
Thanks for your advice. Yes you are right, I know....Its so hard though. She has this manner that just seems to prod me in the most sensitive part and I feel I have to respond to her. She plays the victim, the poor martyred wife who will be laying in her bed, fainting if I dont respond. I just tell her to take responsibilty for her own happiness but she still piles it on me. THing is she has quite serious health problems, and she plays on this.

Hi
I too have serious health problems, certainly exacerbated due to divorce, but there is help out there - professional help and I am having counselling left, right and centre. She can't expect you to do that for her.