The anger has arrived.......

Right, its been 8 weeks and I've been waiting for it. I've had over 7 weeks of pain, shock and disbelief but now ........ anger has set in.

I've found my H, who I trusted 100% without question or second thought for 22 years has been deceiving and lying to me and the kids. No, no other woman (or not that I've found out about yet!!!) but about something so stupid and fundamentally unimportant that I can't believe I am so angry about it.

The issue is ..... he lied and deceived me ...and my family knew all about it! As I say its not a big issue and they probably didnt give it a second thought but to me .... its MAJOR because I feel so stupid and naive. The other thing is that if I knew a year ago that he was capable of lying to me and the kids ...I just might have seen this coming and not had the 8 weeks of shock that I have. I would have found out that he wasn't the person I thought he was.

Hes going to have a shock now though ..... no more Mr Nice-guy ..... the gloves are off.

what happened you have not said....

Hi - I hope you are ok. Like me I have read up and the stages of coping are very simliar to grief. so anger will come and go. I read a good book by Relate - "Breaking Up - Moving On" it is quite useful. I would recommend it. All the stages fluctuate and also ebb away too - although it does not feel like it. It IS a rollercoaster of emtion and we all have to cope despite out differnet circumsatnces.
Am so sorry he has lied to you and you feel you have had no support from your nearest and dearest. I am sure that if you start talking to someone whose opinion you trust - even if it is to just vent then that will help too. Wikki good for venting as lots have been thru the same thing. Even his lies are not about another woman - I am sure there are others here who have been through something similar. The saddest thing is that to us it is our lives (and so individual) but the similarites are so huge that it is nice but horrid at the same time to be part of something so endemic. good luck and chat away, lol Joxx

Hi Jessie

Powerful stuff you've written. Nothing wrong with anger. All I would say sometimes when you're fuming this much can lead you to do things that you regret.
In a state of complete rage I attempted to 'wrestle' with my 6ft 6 husband and I'm 5ft nothin-not pretty!!

Take Care
Mirfield

Achoo ......Like I said its something really stupid but something we have both lectured our kids about, time and time again!!! The issue is him being a hipocrite and deceiving us at the same time!!!!and other people not being surprised, as they knew, when I didnt. I am so big on principles..... always have been, always will be.

Mirfield - so you don't think I should fax the letter I've written him telling him what a sorry excuse for a man he is, to his general work number???? Soooooo tempting especially as noone at work knows he has left us ..... because he doesnt want to have to explain!!!!

I am quite glad about the anger at the moment .... it stops me feeling sad and worrying about him:blink:

Hi Jessie

It may make you feel good now but you would regret it tomorrow. I used to send text messages and the next day I was so sorry that I had lost control and he knew it. Felt good at the time but does not help in the long run xx

Hey Jessie
If it is something stupid - could it be forgiven? Could it be worked out - again Relate really useful either way. Someone gave me advice to write it down - for myself - and not to send. think how you will feel in couple of days. sometimes revenge is saying nothing (Except to pals and own self) then u cannot be accused/blamed and look as clean as a whistle...maybe the best revenge if he lied and deceitful!!??? You are better than him by not going to that level. Bitch Bitch and Bitch some more to your friends and a journal - and you will feel better tomorrow. (or the next day...) x Jo