Am I mad?

Can't read Marshy's text...
But pixy is so right, and whatever you do...DO NOT GET INTO BED WITH HIM!!!!!!!
No, no, no...that is so not the answer, and that is NOT the right thing to do.....he is using you!( plus it made you feel worse didn't it?)
It's only a few weeks for me, and yes, I'd be a little pleased if it went T*ts up for mine...but no way on God's earth would a) I'd sleep with him, and b) have him back...
I feel like .absolute sh*te at the moment too, but I have enough self worth/respect to know that however much I am really hurting right now, I couldn't do that to myself and prolong the hurt and go through all this horrible pain again...
You deserve better, so don't do this to yourself...We are here going through the same things to give you support.

I would love it it my ex tried to grovel back.

I would love to get the opportunity to politely decline his offers of favours in the bedroom, saying I had that base covered. I would let him know I had made new, improved arrangements there.

I would emphasise how little time these days I have to counsel him due to all the other amazing comittments I have.

I would give him the phone number of Samaritans and wish him luck.

You are NOT responsible for how he feels - he is. Both of you need to accept that.

If you lend him a shoulder to cry on, he'll make it soggy and then go off with someone else. If you provide sex as well as sympathy he'll take it till he finds someone else to provide it.

Yes I understand it is difficult to get sucked back into it all again and I am desperately trying not to. SO HARD though when all I wanted a couple of weeks ago was him to tell me he wanted me.
When he came round the other night we ended up in bed and that didn't make me feel any better as he told me that it wasn't very good!

Wow what a b*****d. Seems pretty clear cut to me!

Anyway, I'm not being unsympathetic. I do a certain amount of hanging around with my ex- because he wants to be my buddy and I want, well, I dunno really, not to feel so totally shit. Probably a bit like you.

But I think that doesn't help my recovery. I suspect encounters like that don't help yours. What do you think?

Hi all,

You are right lovestinks - my encounter didn't help me. I don't think it put me back anyway cos it reminded me of how crap our sex life really was. Yes he can tell me it was so much better with her cos she really wanted him and I just go through the motions - hurtful but I suppose truthful.

I do feel better that he is now going through the crap I have been wading through for the past few months. Nice to know that he wasn't really living a rosy life after all.

Seeing him in this depressive I'm so sorry for myself state has made me think 'why would i want that back'.

Funny for the past 5 months I have been trying to get him to see the kids and he refused but now he says he will have them whenever I want him to. Said with a heavy sigh i might add.

Even now he can't see that he put the kids after a new woman who didn't last.

I have moved on slightly already. I phoned his mum and told her about his threats to top himself - it is now her problem to deal with it and not mine. She did try and blame me though for making him feel worthless. How some people sleep at night I don't know.

Thanks wikipeeps for your support - I always need it
x

Hi Pos

I have only just seen this post, sorry. Sending you big hugs (((((Pos))))) and hoping that you are now feeling a lot better about things. And no, you are certainly not mad. You loved him, and almost certainly still do. No matter what anyone else says you must make your own decision on what kind of support and understanding you want to provide to him. Whatever you decide, your Wiki friends are here to support you.

I know things will have moved on by now, one way or the other. I hope that whatever is happening it is the right thing for you and your children. Just remember that none of this is your fault and you can hold your head up high in the knowledge that you have done the very best you can for all concerned. You are a lovely lady and deserve to be happy.

Take very good care of yourself and follow your instincts. Thinking of you and sending jugs and positive vibes.

Chrys xx

Hi dancing butterfly,

Well the update is that after all the help and support I have offered he has thrown it all back in my face.
We got issued are Decree Nisi this week with the judge ordering him to pay all my costs.
I took the children away this week as it was half term and he made no contact with them for the whole week.
I texted him to check he was ok about receiving the decree Nisi and he sent me a msg back saying "more good news, don't text me again". I replied with "I'll let the kids know you asked after them" to which he responded "drop dead".
So NO wikipeeps I will not be going there again. Quite frankly the man i married is a selfish man who cares about nobody but himself - certainly not his children.
He has now not seen or spoke to them in 9 days and seems though he said not to contact him again I don't see how this contact is going to change.

Once thing I do know though is that even while he was going through his turmoil over his split he has managed to book himself a week to Spain in December to 'recover'.

I cannot believe that I had 3 children with this man! rant over