Why won't she divorce him? **update added**

Hi everyone, Im new here and this is my first post:)

My partners ex said she'd divorce him for adultery but hasn't done anything about it yet? I can't understand why? It's been almost a year now?

I suspect you are thinking that she's waiting because she knows/senses that you want it and she's doing it to spite you.

It may be that she's not yet ready to face the divorce process, or that she's not accepted that she's going to be a divorcee.

It may be emotional or financial reasons.

If your b/f wants a divorce thaen I imagine that he could come up with some grounds regarding her "unreasonable behaviour" to divorce her.

What and why she is doing things is really none of your concern (unless she's sending you horrid texts etc) but why he isn't divorcing her have a big bearing on your relationship.

Welcome to Wikivorce.

There are all sorts of reason why people delay starting the divorce proceedings. Maybe she isn't emotionally ready to deal with. Maybe they have agreed, between themselves, to wait until they have been separated for 2 years, then divorce. Using a fault-based divorce (Unreasonable Behaviour, adultery) can often trigger acrimonious feelings towards each other, and perhaps this is something they are keen to try to avoid.

In any case - the divorce is a private matter, between your partner and his wife, and not all partners of someone divorcing, or a separated person is privy to matter relating to the marriage/divorce.

My own partner separated over 3 years ago and still isnt divorced, not because either of them still want to be married to each other, they are both busy with work, their daughter and life in general. To me, its no big deal that they haven yet got to the Absolute stage (it used to be),they will finalise the divorce in time - and it doesnt mean that he is any less committed to me or "us". They now have a much better parenting relationship, which is beneficial to everyone, and esp thier daughter. Once the emotions have submerged, and life for both parties gets back on to an even keel, the emotional impact of divorce is somewhat lessened.

Maybe she still loves him and hopes that he will come back to her eventually.

It's a common tactic.

There might be all kinds of reasons, but none of us can say what they are as we can't read her mind.

Is it bothering you that your partner and his wife haven't started the divorce process?

Thank you for the warm welcome
My partner and I left our marriages to be together we "fell in love" and have been inseparable ever since.
He will divorce her if she doesn't divorce him soon, however she stated she wants to divorce him for adultery and name me which is fair enough. I think she would cause no end of problems if he did divorce her for unreasonable behaviour though.
Im just trying to understand why she's delaying moving on with her life?

How long is it since he told her he was leaving, and how long were they together before that?