Do I have to agree divorce petition with ex?

Hi
I have informed my solicitor that I wish to complete the "paperwork process" of filing for divorce myself to keep costs down. I would like the solicitor to act in relation to the financial settlement.
I have therefore completed the D8 and asked the solicitor to check it before I send it to court. I don''t want to show it to my ex, for his "agreement", he is too controlling and will railroad things. This is my divorce and I want to try and remain in control.
I have just been informed by my solicitor that it is usual practice to agree a divorce petition based on UB with the other side before filing it at court. This is to reduce acrimony, delay and costs because it reduces the likelihood he will contest it. It also helps to create a more constructive dialogue moving forward, esp due to kids involved.
The solicitor intends to write to him with a draft petition for his comments.
My issue is that my ex believes he is right about everything, he is controlling, argumentative and manipulative. He has a high powered job and an over inflated idea of himself. He will not take this lying down. Despite having an affair, he wants to blame the marriage breakdown on me. He takes no responsibility and maintains that my unhappiness forced him to leave. He doesn''t want to divorce as he believes it is too expensive. He''s also stated that he doesn''t want to pay me any spousal maintenance. He wants us to remain separated for two years, so that we can go our separate ways with no blame. and no financial responsibility on his part.
I feel that the solicitor is just trying to make an extra buck here or is that me being paranoid?! Also, from what I''ve read and heard, I should just be able to take care of this part myself and not really need the solicitor to get so involved. Is this true? My Statement 6 is 2 pages of A4 - I guess that seems a little long. But it states facts, with clear examples for each point, with dates and times as evidence where necessary. The solicitor says he will need to edit it significantly so it''s as anodyne as possible - I feel a large bill coming my way. I''m happy to pay for his involvement with the financial settlement as I can see my ex is going to play dirty. But I thought I should be able to do this myself. I''m already feeling out of control and the process has barely started.
Any help gratefully appreciated.

Hello, your solicitor is correct, it is good practice to send the other side a draft copy of an UB Petition before submitting it to court. it''s not about "making an extra buck".

If you want to submit it yourself then submit it yourself. Tell your sol (nicely) to back off.

You already know you are in for a battle so do what you need to do to get ready for that.

Hi Anon

I did my Petition myself, with the help of other Wikis and a friend who has recently filed. I instructed a solicitor to have a quick check over it and told her I would return following any discussions at mediation. She was fine with this.

I sent a copy of the UB grounds to my ex, he wanted to change it and said what about this and that. I told him firmly and politely that this is what I was going to say and the court would not be interested in what I had and hadn''t done since the separation. They were looking to see that the marriage had broken down.

My UB grounds fit into the space provided, except for one small bit. You don''t need to write a lot, just to the point facts about what had happened, when and how it made you feel. 5 or 6 points short sharp sentences is all you need. I would try to leave out anything that may be looked upon as a personal attack, not that I am saying you have included this.

Good Luck

Hi Anon

I did my Petition myself, with the help of other Wikis and a friend who has recently filed. I instructed a solicitor to have a quick check over it and told her I would return following any discussions at mediation. She was fine with this.

I sent a copy of the UB grounds to my ex, he wanted to change it and said what about this and that. I told him firmly and politely that this is what I was going to say and the court would not be interested in what I had and hadn''t done since the separation. They were looking to see that the marriage had broken down.

My UB grounds fit into the space provided, except for one small bit. You don''t need to write a lot, just to the point facts about what had happened, when and how it made you feel. 5 or 6 points short sharp sentences is all you need. I would try to leave out anything that may be looked upon as a personal attack, not that I am saying you have included this.

Good Luck

Thanks so much, really helpful. How did you get away with not changing it if that''s what he wanted you to do? Did he eventually sign it without his changes being included?

Thanks Unctuous. But how do I look like I''m trying to be amicable without showing it to my ex first? I don''t want to get his back up, but equally I don''t want him to sabotage my Petition and monopolise the situation as is his usual practice .