Why does it take so long ? Why the conflict ?

Hi Sera,

Just to support what DBNO has written - not much to add really except that you are in the better position you are saving money by self-repping.

Prior to "an order for costs" in April 2006 there was such a thing as a Calderbank Letter (you can look it up on the internet) - whereby proposal letters were headed "Without Prejudice - Save as to Costs". This is no longer the case and costs orders as DBNO says are not usually made.

I don't know your individual case obviously but I am very doubtful that you would be made to pay your ex's costs - not unless his proposals are wholly reasonable and fair and you are just refusing to co-operate, which I doubt you are...

I hope all goes well for you, keep up the self-repping it will be worth it - have you had any hearings yet?

Elizabeth wrote:

proposal letters were headed "Without Prejudice - Save as to Costs". This is no longer the case

I have received a letter just days ago; headed exactly as you've said. In my divorce in 1999 I self-repped and won. (I also won my costs)

In my second divorce; his soliciotrs are refusing to reply to questions I ask; they deny my contributions; what paltry offers they have suggested start with the words "against our advice" ... etc.

I may have the option for pursuing the Case through Civil Court; because it involves work I did on properties and business. I am thinking to walk away from his AR Case; and apply elsewhere under Commercial Litigation.
I can see no fair sense of justice in the way my ex's solicitors are behaving; or the court suggesting I would have to bear his costs.

Crikey Sera,

You self repped and won - costs as well - that's brilliant - there is so much unfairness when it comes to AR and so expensive! I partly self-repped as much as I could but not at the FDR or FH - not sure if the outcome would have been different with hindsight could have saved myself even more money but not sure my nerves would have stood up at the FH!!

Well done anyway - you sound like you know what you are doing which is more than most of us I'm sure...

Wish you the best,

Winning was ten years ago: 1999 Principal registry Office. I just went in and followed form; I didn't have a clue back then!

When I received the trial bundles; (by bike courier the night before) I flipped through the 990 pages; and thought: 'hmmm.... these look like they might be needed for the Case (doh!) but they're a bit heavy, not sure if I'll bother to take them'....

Next morning, I took a mini-cab; so took the bundles just incase I needed them...

...in walks ex's team of Seven. Yes S-E-V-E-N a barrister; a solicitor and some minions who I think were trainees. I sat on the front without a clue.

Barrister placed Bundles in front of him, took out a pen, and so I followed suit. Barrister made opening plea (or whatever that bit is) I got my chance next; and unscripted just said my bit. I was cross-examined, and I set about cross-examaining ex: 3.5 days later; I produced a beautiful six page magazine article: it showed our beautiful home in '25 Beautiful Homes Magazine' .... I informally asked the judge if he'd like to see the work I'd done. (Ex's team start hollaring that it's not in the bundle)... judge asked for it anywayz, and sat reading a six page glossy article that PROVED what I'd done.

Ex had offered me £8,000 and no share of my home. Judge awarded me £330,000 (incl costs)

Now, ten YEARS on, I have an identicle situation. Short term marriage; massive contributions to renovating and selling property etc.

You can but follow form, answer honestly; and await the outcome.

Sera,

You are amazing!