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  • Purrfect
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02 May 14 #432109 by Purrfect
Topic started by Purrfect

  • Radioactive
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06 Jun 14 #435905 by Radioactive
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Interestingly, talking frankly with my wider circle of friends this is quite common behaviour.
My situation is the reverse and we are separating as a result. But as a passionate guy I find it just as hard to fathom how men become like this.
There are basically two types of people in our society I guess...
Those who talk about it, and those who do it.

Drop it and move on X
RA

  • NellNoRegrets
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06 Jun 14 #435919 by NellNoRegrets
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I think you need to forget about what has happened and focus on what will happen. He doesn''t want to be with you. Accept that. Don''t rely on or expect emotional support then you won''t be surprised if you don''t get it.

My ex did leave me for someone else - and then left her. Then he got back with her. When they were having problems he wanted to talk to me about it, as though I was his sister, not his ex! As soon as they were back together, he was not interested in hearing from me.

I''d tried to be supportive to him as his brother committed suicide just after he''d split up from girlfriend.

But he was quite cold when I had to have an MRI scan for suspected brain tumour (which thank goodness I haven''t got). I had several friends who offered me a lift to the hospital and I went with one of them - someone I wouldn''t have thought of as being likely to offer, but she did and was brilliant.

Ex wasn''t even bothered about when I got my results.

So I''ve learned the hard way that he will contact me if he wants something but not be interested in reciprocating.

I made a new circle of people I can rely on. You can do the same.

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06 Jun 14 #435928 by pixy
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Oh Nell (((())))

Purrfect, I don''t understand why you would want or expect your stbx to help you out let alone spend an evening at a restaurant with you. Surely after three years you must know it''s over.

We all go through a stage of thinking our marriages are mendable. Sadly in most cases they are not, because it takes two to mend, only one to break. You have to face the reality that he ain''t coming back.

The last thing I would ever do is to ask my ex for help. My pride won''t let me.

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06 Jun 14 #435934 by hawaythelads
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I know not to ask the ex harridan for any help.......Indeed I have an addendum to the old saying
"She wouldn''t xxss on me If I was on Fire".......she''d throw some petrol on.

Wonderful, caring woman. Can''t do enough for me. Petrol is far more expensive than xxss.:P:blink:

All you can do is tell him how you feel and I mean everything..... that you want to be back together as husband and wife and have a full sex life and then you have to see whether he''s prepared to do that and listen to what his answer is.
You''ve just got to lay it out there in it''s entirety what you want.
At least that way if it''s a "No" I don''t want that from him. You know exactly where you stand and that you''re flogging a dead horse so you have to leave it alone.
I''m quite sensitive and good at this relationship advice stuff when I try hard.;)
All the best
HRH x

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06 Jun 14 #435970 by Purrfect
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06 Jun 14 #435972 by Purrfect
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Hawaythelads, thanks for your reply. We do have lots of deep discussions and I have laid it out on the line exactly how I feel about him. He knows my feelings entirely!

I went through a kind of mid life crisis since our split and have done quite a few stupid things. So I am mainly the one at fault although he has not been perfect either!

There have never been any other parties involved. He has not asked to divorce and neither have I. We live apart but essentially love, care and still fancy each other!

I think he is suffering from post traumatic stress over some of the things I have done and it will take him a while to get over it!

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