Time to Move out?

Marshy_ wrote:

You cant live on the street. Thats no place to live. I am not sure if you have anywhere you could go. And you would be disadvantaged if you moved out. And also, you do not need to give her any excuse to have you arrested and or ordered to leave.

The right time to move out is when financial matters are resolved. In that you get a payment or she gets a payment from you. Could also mean that the house is sold and you all have to move out. But as I said, this time is not now. Chill out and see what happens. If she is divorcing you, then she will want to resolve matters. Hope this makes sense. Come back again if it dont make sense. C.

Sorry to hijack this a little but your brilliant advice is pertinent to me also. I am in the exact same situation and about to commit to renting a small house while we resolve things. I am told that a Consent Order can take an awful long time and we have negative equity. The house is too small for the type of living arrangements where I take a room and I currently reside in the lounge! She has told me that I will not lose any rights on the house if she pays the mortgage to enable me to pay the new rent. Does this sound ok or am I leaving myself vulnerable to something else? I can''t see the house being sold for at least 5 years!

pyramidpool wrote:

The house is too small for the type of living arrangements where I take a room and I currently reside in the lounge! She has told me that I will not lose any rights on the house if she pays the mortgage to enable me to pay the new rent. Does this sound ok or am I leaving myself vulnerable to something else? I can''t see the house being sold for at least 5 years!

Same here. House was too small and I couldnt take over a room. I tried the living room but I just didnt trust my ex not to give me the good news with a kettle of boiling water (yes things got that bad) and so I moved into the conservatory and that wasnt too bad. But all my clothes and growing array of box''s and stuff for my new home was in there and after one V bad night with the ex and her BF, I moved into the garage. At the end, it was a home from home and I felt safe in there. Apart from a couple of times the ex backed the car right upto the garage door and left the engine on for a while it was fine. I could lock the door. I did sabotage her key so that it wouldnt open the side door and managed to secure the up and over door from the inside. I still hate spiders to this day

I dont recommend you move out despite what she say''s. Chances are, she wont sell the house if your not there. And all she has to say is she cant pay the mortgage and then you have to pay it. And the payments along with CSA and rent and food and so on will kill you. I Know you said the house is neg eq but there are other ways of resolving this issue by renting it out or taking in lodgers. A house is a long term investment.

But I fully understand the desire to get out. If it starts affecting your health, then money is no match for your own well being. I foolishly hung on until I was ready. Part of it is my own determination that they were not going to force me out or make me run away. I would walk out when good and ready and had somewhere decent to live. And thats what I did. I walked away with my head held high. Bit too stubborn for my own boots really.

There was no way I could sell my FMH. I would still be fighting them now. And I couldnt do that to my former step kids. They were going thru GCSE''s at the time and I just couldnt do it. Add in the fact that there was no way I could stay longer then 11 months and I would never have got a penny anyway. I signed it over to her and her new man. Such is life. But sometimes, there are more important things then money. The only long term affects have been asthma. Which I havent suffered with since I was 11. But who is to say that I wouldnt have got that anyway. But I think it was living in a damp garage for all that time. I will never put myself in a position that I wasnt in total control of my home. Call me old fashioned but I have no desire to live on the streets and it was only for the fact that I had a decent job and a get up and go attitude that saved me. It was tough paying 2 mortgages and my own bills and I did live on 25 quid (for food) a week for a year. I survived. Great diet BTW but I dont recommend it. But I would stay. People lie. And your leaving yourself very open by trusting someone you are divorcing. CYA. C.