Time to Move out?

First of all thanks for all the advice I have had here in the past.

I thought things were better now but apparently not.

To cut a long story short life has become a bit unbearable. I have slept on sofa most of this year and last night my wife moved all my clothes out of the wardrobe. She just hates my guts for no apparent reason.

My endgame is to do whatever is best for my boys (5 and 7)

I can only afford to move out if I stop paying bills on my home ( could still pay mortgage)

Advice please.

Hi,

Can your wife afford to pay the bills if you moved out?

If you moved out you would have to pay child maintenance (to work out how much have a look here: www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance - your wife could use this to pay the mortgage and towards the bills.

She may be also entitled to claim benefits, have a look here:

www.familyinvestments.co.uk/family-nest/...benefits-calculator/

WR

Thanks for the links WR -very helpful.

I dont think she would be able to afford the bills, definately not the mortgage as well.

I understand your predicament. I lived in a garage for 11 months that was attached to the house. It wasn''t pleasant.

What you have to consider is if you move out then:

There will be no reason for her to agree to sell the house.

You could break yourself paying for everything.

She will be living rent free and possibly bill free. I am not sure where you are with your divorce but it may be best to progress the divorce and settle finances properly before moving out. Could the kids not share and you occupy a room there until matters are resolved? It cant be easy living like you are I know but what you need to do is keep up the pressure to resolve this situation (by being there) and progress the divorce as quickly as possible but at the same time, not antagonizing her so much that she call''s the police or acquires a non molestation and occupancy order.

But I fully understand how you must be feeling. Its an awful way to live. C.

I agree with Marshy, Jack. It''s a nightmare existence that seems to go on forever. However, there are children. If you know that your ex cannot afford the mortgage, you know that you cannot afford the mortgage and rent - who will pay the mortgage?

Where does your wife think this is all going? Has she considered moving out herself? If not, how does she see it playing out?

Ok Jack, I''ve just read through all your posts to date. I have a few questions - apologies if you have covered this elsewhere - in the last 8 months, have you had legal advice? Have either of you petitioned for a divorce? Marshy''s advice on another thread about non-engagement with her was excellent; how did that go?

How have the children fared through this so far?

Thanks for your replies, I have practised Marshy''s previous advice but honestly thought we were back on track.

I havent taken any legal advise as cannot afford to. My wife has and seems to be more in tune with divorce matters although she is adament she doesn''t want the unpleasantness of court proceedings.

She has threatened to ''get me out'' by ''making a phone call'' but I''m not sure what she means by this.

The kids are fine, probably a bit more aware of the situation than they show. I am trying to spend as much time with them as possible. I am aware that my wife is ''brainwashing'' them against bad Daddy.