How do I get angry

Personally, anger was the first emotion I experienced. When my wife finally owned up to her affair, I was furious and punched the bedroom door so hard I broke two bones in my hand (still hasn't healed properly 3 months later). I've been furious with her on many occasions and we've had absolutley blazing rows. Other emotions (grief, sadness, disbelief) followed later, but whenever I find out any new proof of further betrayal or deception the anger is right there again

Kenwood - you're right there, it's easier to make your mind up as to how to proceed when you're on your own, and also easy to crumble when you see your wife again. Just decide what you want to do and try to stick to it, but be aware that this may change as events unfold and things happen

I'm sure we all wish you the best too

Sun

Please try not to get angry - it only ends up consuming you. Anger won't hurt her it will only justify her actions. Believe me I know. I am so angry and it is only destroying me. I need to let go of it and I will soon. Success and happiness is the best revenge. Carry on conducting yourself with dignity - you won't regret it.

Yummy

hi kenwood in the begining i couldn't get angry just upset at the loss i was in work boxing day morning my husband phoned my friend and asked her to be there for me and the kids she rang me at work,i knew he'd left us just left a note with his rings in saying he loves us all,my kids were still in bed he only took his laptop,a bracelet which we both had the same one with an inscription on saying our love will last for all time i was told by the dr that i was grieving cos he left leaving everything even his washing things he would say sounded like there was still hope for us how could i get angry i loved him now 7 months down the line the anger has kicked in but in a bad way it's not just about me and him it's my daughter he thinks txts and msn are the best thing since sliced bread all my little girl(well not so little she's nearly 12)wants is a hug and cuddle from her daddy,the anger can take hold yes i've been silly and txt him or emailed him with my anger but what i have done is been honest about how he's losing his daughter she wants less and less contact now,since being on here i learnt something and i wish i never went to anger stage and it's hard to let go of it,you sound a lovely person anger can take control of you and people around you see the change in you and all because of one person.take care

You may never be angry, I havent been, but my circumstances are different I guess.

I received this advice from somebody on antoher site, and I have shared it before,what ever you do try and retain your dignity.

Trying to be angry in an attempt to show just how awful this is wont change anything.

Good luck

GM

Kenwood,

I'm 12 months on and still have not been able to get angry with ex. I have never been able to express anger towards him or his girlfriend. I sometimes feel it would help me if I could get angry but its just not in my nature.

Poppie

Hi all,

6 months of sadness suddenly turned into anger 2 weekls ago and it was pretty ugly and very frustrating. I did not know what hit me and it was all consuming. I was angry at the way stbex has treated and still treating me, doubly angry for getting angry at him cos he loved it and trably angry for marrying him in the first place. I felt i had let myself down and my children. However the anger only lasted a week and my stbex was astonished (as was i) at my behaviour and now says all he wants is an easy life cos he cannot stand all the arguments..He now says he will move out and is currently looking at rented accommodation for himself.

Anger: double-edged sword in my experience and i really don't want to go there again.

Take care..they say anger is a well recognised part of the grieving process, some get it some don't.
Regards
M

23mths in to this as the dumped woman after 20 years i have not felt anger i wish i had it would have helped me disconnect earlier i think.I sunk int a nasty period of debilitating depression the professionals say thet depression is anger turned inwards.I am just turning a corner i can now look forward i still feel i lost everything which is stupid as i was in a really abusive and destructive relationship.I think you just have to go with the flow as far as your emotions are.It helps so much to keep telling yourself that the emotion you are feeling is just passing through.