How do I get angry

Hi All,

My wife has finally left me and our two children after having a two year fling with her supervisor at work. I've tried for two years to reconcile the marriage but she's just not interested.

We've only just entered the world of divorce but the problem is that I still have strong feelings for her. This always puts me at a disadvantage when trying to talk to her on the phone so consequently we've ended up either conversing by text or email.

What do I need to do to get angry with this woman?

Has anyone out there experienced this?

Cheers all

Kenwood

just wait the anger will come.

Kenwod, the anger may never come, you may have flashes of it, more out of frustration than anything else, but deep anger possibly not.


I was in a fairly abusive relationship where my husband cheated all the time. I had suspicions but no proof. I stayed because I loved the guy.

Even after discovering that what I suspected was only the tip of the iceberg I am hurt and disappointed. I am nine months on and still not divorced. I have only shouted once whilst I have experienced months of torrents of abusive behaviour from him.

I think that to be able at the end of the day to hold my head high and not sink to his level is something to be proud of. Also Iwould not give him the satisfaction of loosing control in front of him. Doesn't mean I haven't lost it in private. I can vent my frustration but haven't ever got angry. It is a wasted emotion and won't in the end make you feel any better. Anger can eat away at you. You need to keep a level head through out this painfulprocess.

Take care and I wish you all the best

Its taken me nearly two months to feel anything resembling anger and unfortunately it comes and .... it goes.

When I feel the anger I am able to be stronger ... he doesnt deserve me, its his loss, how dare he treat me like this and I deserve better than him. When I dont, its a case of what will I do, how will I cope without him, what about our future, where will we live .... the list is endless.

But ... Anger can also make you do things you regret ... so be careful and do not make any decisions .... at all.... on angry days. Just enjoy them (!) and use the time to prepare in a constructive way, tackle a job that needs doing, seek legal advice and get on with your life!!

Its a roller coaster and you just have to ride it to the end I guess.... theres no shortcut!

Kenwood,

You do not deserve this kind of behaviour - but you sound just too nice to get angry - to be honest I wish there were more people like you in the world - love comes first in your heart and you know - that's a better place to be than angry! Your Karma and wellbeing will benefit greatly from this... don't worry about getting angry - it's not a good thing anyway - and it won't change your situ...

keep on this site - you will have a lot of people to turn to and you may find it helps enormously - but I don't think anyone will encourage you to "get angry!" beat a drum maybe !

I didn't get angry. My ex moved out pretending to need to be closer to her place of study and with in days of moving out, it was more of a relief than a loss.

6 months on and soon after the lies started, then it was more shock and disbelief at the ex's behaviour and how she went against agreements (some her own). Her lack of consideration for our child was most annoying....and as time moved on, her obvious desire to make me pay solicitors for her perpetuating litigation process (she got legal aid and I was paying).

Then the anger started. Anger because of frustration of any process that wants to fuel my ex's desire to see me worse off or push me to be worse off. Courts, CSA, anyone.

If sharing views helps.... you have my view.....

Wow, you really don't realise just how many people out there are suffereing the same problems.

I thank you all for your replies. They really do make a difference.

I suppose it's time to be strong. I'm ok providing I don't hear from her but once an email or text arrives I just want to crawl into a corner.

I know they're out there enjoying themselves whilst my life collapses so I'm hoping some anger arrives soon.

I wish all of you the very best in everything you're (we're) going through.

Let's hope it's done with quickly and as painlessly as possible.

Take care all,

Kenwood:)