Difficult to date again?

Hey everyone.

I was wondering what your thoughts and feelings are about dating, socialising, courting, etc following the break up of a marriage.

I have really found it difficult to feel relaxed and comfortable, almost feeling guilty about being with someone else after being in a marriage for so long.

Trusting someone and feeling totally at ease with them seems a thing of the past.

How do I convince myself that its ok to move on?

Hi

This is what terrifies me. After 30yrs with the same man, how do you start again, I think i have joked before about not even had a snog with anyone else, let alone anything else:blush:

But as every one tells me, when the time comes, after those first few dates, you start to relax and see them as friends rather than 'a date' and things begin to feel right.
As for trust, well umm, not sure about that one. The trouble is when you meet someone with history, and at my age they will have history, Not gonna find a man that is single! and if he was, that would be, WHY? Someone divorced and bitter! or someone with loads of kids at home. Even divorced and happy, i would ask 'how many affairs did you have'. I have my own home, what if he didnt?

See your point, Dad, but it will happen and one day, im sure you will be happy, and lets face it our miss/mr Wonderful could be just around the corner.

Err, Blue or brown eyes, Dad?

Joy

Time, time, time, and more time.

If you are feeling that way at the moment, you are not ready. I am 18 months from being told and I am nowhere near ready to 'date' with a view to finding a new partner, or having a serious realtionship. Not sure I really want one. If I am really, really honest, a really shallow, no complications liaison would be about as much as I am able to cope with emotionally. I struggle with the idea of trusting someone again. There was no infidelity involved, but my stbx did a lot of things that shattered my faith in womankind generally.

Just my thoughts - everyone is different

Mike

Blue of course !

Why?

Ahh Just flirting:blush:

Maybe if you meet someone who has experienced the same sort of pain you have then maybe a relationship could be good. And that also to hear a male going thru the pain we women do, in a sad way, help us to see that not all men are the same. We hear the phrase so many times that all men are the same, and we can if we let it, believe it, after a while you begin to lose faith. And as Mike said, i am the same, Do I really want someone else? For me no, not yet. Too many things to catch up with!

Joy

Bless you.

I dont think all men are the same. Some of us are modern men but with emotions and sensitivity as well as all those other bloke things !!

I'm really just hoping it is a case of finding the right person and being able to relax properly, trust fully with everything else just falling into place.

How exciting that would be.

I think in a way we all want someone, its just dealing with hurt from the past that gets in the way.

Hi Dad

Good post. I've been thinkin about this myself alot in the last couple of weeks. Hurt so badly just can't see how I could allow myself to get close to anyone again. But then I think no way is this idiot of a husband of mine going to ruin my future.

Early early days for me I think but there's always hope!!!!!!!!!
Mirfield