Lies Lies Lies!!

Oh yes the lies. My solicitor has a letter sent to me from my ex saying ''it wasn't you, it was me so stop beating yourself up'' Says in the letter that she saw what she could get away with.!!! Yep played on a string by lies lies lies. Compounded by lies told to my daughter. On at least 5 occasions my daughter met her and the situation was orchestrated so the real truth was hidden. Pity my daughter(21) was not as stupid and saw through it all and stayed with me Yes lies lies lies and they continue to be told to friends. I would love to post on here what she does for a living, where she works and lives, the respectable organisation she joined for voluntary work , a list of all her lovers and how she portrays herself to the outide world as a respectable person. Hopefully Karma will take its place and the truth will out as they say without me having to do anything. You see I dont have to lie .

Hi Mirfield
I know how you feel - it's the lies and deceit that I think about every day. I read old text messages sent to me the day before I discovered his cheating in which he calls me "babe" and tells me he loves me. Also old message when he was supposed to be away with work sent at 12.30 in the morning saying goodnight and love you and hope you are ok. All the time he was with "her". Once he even stayed out all night and was not there the next morning and it was our youngest son's birthday. They seem to be able to lie and not bat an eyelid. My stbx just walked away after 27 years for a new life with his 'younger woman' without even a backward glance. It is now 5 months for me and I too still get very angry at all the crap he has fed me over the last 2 years. I know I should just get over it but it is so sad and so hard.

But at the end of the day what choice do we all have - sit and cry and feel sorry for ourselves - they are not crying they are just getting on with their "new life". It is hard but I find if I tell myself the truth which I feel is he doesn't love me anymore, he lied and cheated for years and the best way to get my own back (which believe me I think about every day) is to get on with my life and show him what he has lost.

Keep Strong Kx

Hi mirfield,
I don't think that you ever get over the lies, you may learn to live with them better but the thoughts will never go away.
Be strong and try to move on
Gareth

I've spent alot of time thinking about this-way too much probably!!

I've concluded that my husband actually got a real sense of power with the lies-made him feel important, special that he was getting away with it. He has always had poor self esteem and I spent most of our marriage propping him up at the expense of my own hopes and dreams.

Even now he continues to lie about the most stupid things and I truly believe that in his head he lives in some parrallel universe.

Marshmellow said a great thing which I try hard to follow now that it is probably all lies. I refuse to waste anymore engery trying to get the truth out of him cos I really do feel he wouldn't know the truth if it jumped up and smacked him in the face.

The very sad thing for me now is god knows how I will ever trust anybody like that again. Just can't see it.

The only sick pleasure I get is I know for a fact that he lies his face off to the ow:P
Mirfield

Interesting point from 'stillalive', as, to me, the whole divorce thing does feel like a bereavement. Except, I'm not given the chance to mourn, as the lies keep on coming, both in face to face contact, and through the ridiculous letters from her sol.
Can't wait for the lies to stop, as only then will I be able to come to terms with them...