Aggression = shame, embarrassment or pay back ?

My reason for this is to try to stop her projecting her guilt upon me. If she doesn't see me, she can build me into a monster to ease her guilt; but seeing me as I am will make this more difficult with her.

Andy, beware. Honestly! Thats the route I went and it did me no good. As I said, the nicer I was, the meaner he turned.
I personally think they want a fight, they want us to say things which gives them a reason to justify their decision.
It you dont react, they try harder, harder, harder.

He finally gets from me the fight he wants because he turned onto my only weakness...my kids.
If I could turn the time back I would have started right in the beginning on a battlefield I dont care so much about..like if air miles are assets or something stupid like fighting over a table you never liked in the first place.
That would have been healthier for my kids and me.
If they want a fight give it to them. On your terms.

Stillalive

You are probably right. I don't intend to repeat the experience as I really suffered last night. Seeing her was just too painful really. However, I will see if any good has come of this one time and make a decision on this later. The realist part of me believes that you are right though:(

Andy