What Carrie did next ....

Never in 40 odd years have I had some a weird 24 hours.... He came in with a Sainsburys bag and was all hellos and do you want anything to eat. I was calm, asked him where he'd been and he said Sainsburys. and I said for 3 hours at 1 o'clock in the morning and he said yes.

then he said he had been at Tom's and i have lots of people to talk to about my problems and he only has Tom (his golf partner). I asked him what Tom said (and I work in HR so I know when someone is lying ..... and he knows I know as well thou')and he didn't look like he was lying he said Tom was selfish and that he must of loved me at some stage so he needs to try and work it out.

anyway we talked for an hour CALMLY he said my mum and dad now hate him (now true) and his mum hates me (nothing new) and I still don't understand about how much he needs to work (I try!) and spoke about why we thought we were where we're at. I went to bed and he stayed in his bed downstairs and I did say something about so no hug. (I know, sound like a broke record!)
In the morning I had a shower and I was sat on the bed soaking wet haven't dried myself or brushed my hair or teeth and he came in and cuddled me and was kissing me - it was all so weird. Then he apologised (but not sure what for) he kissed me goodbye when i went to work and texted me a couple of times. I was tired but quiet most of the day got lots down! tried to keep my mind off him. when i came in he mentioned about going on holiday to america next month and to book it! I wonder if he'll want to sleep in the bed tonight!!

What the hell is happening:
a. he is having a mental breakdown
b. the affair is over - either him or her
c. he realises he wants to be with me
d. he realise a divorce will financially break him

If i put it on hold can he then put a petition in against me? is there a timescale my petition is relevant if I ask to hold.

Confused. you all know i love him and i know you can't say what is the best for me to do. but your thoughts would be appreciated on how best to move forward.
love carrie

Hi Carrie,

Why don't you wait and see what happens over the next week or so? If you still love him and he does turn out to want to try again you could insist on going to Relate as part of the deal, so you make sure you talk about things properly. And if he doesn't want to, you go back onto the divorce road.

Good luck!
Sadie

I'd tentatively say that that's good news Carrie. Like sadie says tho, don't rush into anything, give it time to see what may happen next, and make sure your fears/feelings are addressed, see if any of a - d are true. Hopefully it's c

Best of luck with this, but do please guard your heart against the possibility of being let down. I am speaking from experience here, but I hope your path is smoother than mine

carrie
If in doubt....do nowt.....tale care
Elle

Carrie-don't go down the divorce road if you don't have to-it's a perilous, unhappy journey. Hope it works out for you flower.

i have been thinking about you two for a while.and it did enter my head the other day 'i think these two might make it' i hadn't shared that with you.it was my friendly angel talking to me.

did you ring whats his name tom are you close enough to do that?could be an option.

you love the little s... so i think you shouls shelve the divorce for a bit as theres no rush really anyway.take it slowly carrie...

why dont you pursuade him to go to relate while he is mallable.he won't get past a relate councellor if its all false cos he realises he will be skint if you divorce.

Carrie, your husband sounds really confused at the moment, just take things slowly and please try to talk things through if possible. He may be feeling differently next time you see him so be prepared. Don't rush things it will take time. Good luck, will be thinking of you. Poppie