Bed

I stopped sleeping in the same bed as my ex in 2002 , apart from the odd nights.He then made sure i could'nt sleep in that bed anyway as he busted myside.I could'nt sleep in the same bed as my ex, when it's over it's over seems he is trying to put on a front with people that everything between you both is all fine and dandy , and you are screaming inside.Well how about what you want, what you need.what about your kids when they find out me and your dad seperated back in 2008 but we just pretended to you kids that we were ok for 2 yrs, don't we bring our children up to be truthful, yes our children need to be protected but they deserve honesty too.

Camembert,

Personally I could not have been in the same room as my stbx .. let alone the same bed.

Kids are not daft. Yours will know everything is not OK. And it will be even less OK if you feel compelled to carry on with this charade when you are clearly not at all happy with it. You need to take control and think about what YOU want ... and what is best for the kids. Honesty is the best policy IMO. YOu have the right to a life too. Go out and grab it.

best wishes

Hadenoughnow

Hi Cam!

My situation is not the same as yours, because I don't have children. But my stbx husband kid me on for a month or so that he was tired and not well. He said he'd sleep in the spare room, so he wouldn't disturb me if he got or woke up in the night.

I agree with what Angel and Hadenoughnow said in their replies, be honest with your children, they maybe upset at first, but they will get used to it. Also, I believe they will respect you both even more.

Have you a spare room that one of you could sleep in? The thing is what to do if you haven't got a spare room. Just a suggestion what about single beds for your ex to be and yourself. Less likely to try anything on.

Hope you will be able to sort out the issue.

Regards
CrusaderGirl

Youre not my wife are you?

Further to my topic, www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Forum/...p-Advice-Needed.html my wife told me it was all over on 2nd May.

We slept in the same bed until I found out this week that she had been seeing someone else so reluctantly, I have moved into our garage conversion which has a sofa bed and I have now made that room my little bachelor pad!!

She wasnt happy that I remained in the same bed - has even told lies to her friends that when I get home from work @ 3am I try it on with her:lol:

I told my husband I wanted a divorce and from that day on, I slept on the sofa. He asked me to come back to the marital bed and act like an adult. The feelings I had meant I actually slept better on the sofa than I would have done lying in a bed next to him. For a long time I had laid in the bed next to him feeling unloved and not wanting to be in the same physical space as him.

I was still breastfeeding my baby at the time but I just couldn't stay in the same bed as him. 5 years ago, I had asked for a divorce and slept in the spare room on the sofa bed for about 3 months before we patched things up (I know now that I should have found the strength but....)., I was breastfeeding our second son then.

He even commented that if he was a gentleman he would let me remain in the marital bed, but hey that says it all that I was the one sleeping on the sofa (then I found out he would rather have been in someone elses bed entirely anyway).

I was lucky (if you look at it that way) that 3 days later he moved in with her.

I still have issues sleeping in our bed now, but go to bed in the early hours; I need to be upstairs in case one of the children wake.

Sorry I have rambled, but in answer to your question; when it is over it is over. Your children are not stupid and they deserve to live in a home without an atmosphere as much as you do.

I think the "I stayed because of the children" is a big debate, more so in recent years. Maybe worthy of a thread of its own.

xx Sarah xx

I don't think this is right either. I'm in a fortunate position (if thats possible!?!) that he left straight away and had somewhere to go so didn't have to deal with living under the same roof.