Paying for mediation

Sorry if I was a bit short - it is at times frustrating seeing someone receive good advice from members but choosing instead to continue listening to thier ex who is incorrect.

I really don''t think that at this stage there is any need to attend a MIAM.

A Consent Order doesn''t need to cost the earth - Wikivorce has a fixed fee consent order that would meet your needs for just £259 Inc VAT.

OK no problem. I was intending to write to my wife''s solicitor anyway as suggested.

I am not too sure about the accuracy of advice given by Wikivorce.
About 12 months ago I called the Wikivorce helpline and asked if my wife could claim against my pension which is in payment.
I was told that because it''s in payment it''s considered as an income and not an asset.
I have since discovered that''s incorrect.
I realise that Wikivorce have a disclaimer regarding advice, but surely they should do better than giving completely wrong advice on a fairly simple issue.
I think that wrong advice is worse than no advice.

microman wrote:

OK no problem. I was intending to write to my wife''s solicitor anyway as suggested.

I am not too sure about the accuracy of advice given by Wikivorce.
About 12 months ago I called the Wikivorce helpline and asked if my wife could claim against my pension which is in payment.
I was told that because it''s in payment it''s considered as an income and not an asset.
I have since discovered that''s incorrect.
I realise that Wikivorce have a disclaimer regarding advice, but surely they should do better than giving completely wrong advice on a fairly simple issue.
I think that wrong advice is worse than no advice.

The Wikivorce advisors individually deal with over 4,000 calls each year (that''s per adviser), and answer a wide range of questions - not all of them relating to family law. Pensions are actually a complex area - far from "simple", and the advice given depends on the question asked and the information given. The advisers do an incredibly difficult job dealing with often very emotional/demanding/frustrated/angry people who themselves are dealing with a very difficult situation -and they do their job to Absolute best of their ability. Far, far more people are grateful for the advice and information on the helpline and forum than complain about the advice/support received. The bottom line is if you don;t like the advice given to you by either a helpline adviser or forum members, you are not under any obligation to either keep asking for help or to take any notice of the advice given for free.

Let us know if you get any reply from the solicitor.

microman wrote:

OK no problem. I was intending to write to my wife''s solicitor anyway as suggested.

I am not too sure about the accuracy of advice given by Wikivorce.
About 12 months ago I called the Wikivorce helpline and asked if my wife could claim against my pension which is in payment.
I was told that because it''s in payment it''s considered as an income and not an asset.
I have since discovered that''s incorrect.
I realise that Wikivorce have a disclaimer regarding advice, but surely they should do better than giving completely wrong advice on a fairly simple issue.
I think that wrong advice is worse than no advice.

In defence of the advisor, the valuation of pensions in payment is not straightforward. I had both the ex''s solicitor and a judge telling me at first appointment that a pension in payment had no asset value. It is still open to some interpretation, but the treatment of pensions in payment is buried deep in case law. I spent many hours finding enough evidence to support my position that it should be valued as an asset in my scenario. There is other case law which would compare income only where both sides have pensions in payment, though a value would have to be calculated in order to determine any pension share. This is territory for which an actuary will charge large chunks of money and is a little less usual than you might think.

I wrote a letter to my wife''s solicitor this morning as per the advice on this site.
I told the solicitor that my wife and I had reached an agreement regarding the splitting of assets and that mediation is not necessary. I also said that my wife should contact her solicitor to have a consent order drafted.

OK no problem.

However, this afternoon I receive another email from my wife stating the following:

YOU HAVE TO GO TO MEDIATION. THERE IS NO CHOICE. IT REALLY LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE HIDING SOMETHING. ITS NOT GOING TO COST YOU ANY THING.

I am of the impression that there''s nothing wrong with my wife that a brain transplant wouldn''t put right.

I have already proved to my wife that I''m not entitled to legal aid for mediation, but somehow it seems to go in one ear and straight out the other.

I have absolutely no idea what she thinks I am hiding.

I will attend the first mediation session just to prove to my wife that it''s pointless.
I will play her stupid game and then throw the facts back in her face.

I think I know why she is asking for mediiation.

You are required to provide financial disclosure in mediation. When you do provide disclosure, and you are expected to be truthful she could change her mind and ask for more based in how wealthy you are.

If you are not truthful, and I am not saying that you wont and subsequently reach an agreement she could you take you back to court in future.

This is just my assumption but I could be completely wrong.

There needs to be financial disclosure before a consent order albeit limited.

Perhaps microman and his stbx could agree to complete a form E apiece on a voluntary basis? It would be sensible to do this before making a final agreement.

Microman: The communication from your stbx will have been sent before her solicitor received your letter. I suggest your response should simply be that you will communicate via her solicitor.


Hadenoughnow