Feeling fearful of proceeding

Hi forum members

i would appreciate your suggestions on here please. I have just joined this forum so quite a newbie. I’ve been married for 22 years since after I finished university. We have three children at Uni, A Levels and Secondary school. I have a very good professional job for a major company and always worked as well as had responsibilities for the children. My marriage has been very rocky for all those years but I came from this kind of family where divorce was looked upon, I’m not English either so have no one in this country, I moved to UK in 1998.

Me and my H live in the same house but haven’t spoken or communicated for two years now, and we do everything seperatly.

Due to previous domestic incidents that I have faced in this marriage, I’m really scared to apply for divorce as I don’t know what will happen when those papers land on the H’s hands. We do recognise that this has come to an end.. but I don’t think H believes I will ever apply. I’m really depressed and work and the kids are the only things that keep me going.

It will be a no fault divorce, I’m not after anything other than a 50/50 deal. I’ve always been the main breadwinner and earned double the amount my H earns. We have got a beautiful house and a flat and lived abroad with the kids for a a few years which was a disaster too.. We have come to the end of the road in our relationship and it is one of life’s travesties, but I also want to live happy and without feeling scared or like a lodger in my own home.

Has anyone experienced this and how did you handled it? So grateful for your contributions.

It is worth talking to an organisation that supports people affected by domestic abuse. They may be able to offer advice on the best way to protect yourself in this situation.

It is also worth exploring your financial position so you can assure him about this from the outset. Bear in mind that 50:50 may not be appropriate. You can have a chat with one of our advisors.

The no fault divorce does make things a bit easier as you no longer have to give reasons for the marriage ending. Not having to blame the other party reduces the temperature.

Hadenoughnow