What happened to me yesterday?

Wow, what happened to me yesterday! If any of you have read any of my previous posts you will know that I found out about my wife’s 4 month affair on xmas day but was so in love with her I wanted to forgive her and win her back.
Well yesterday was not a good day for me at all, broke down at work and had to go home, Wife was at home when I got in and just told her I had a headache and went to bed. I just laid there thinking about all the good times that we had had together, The lovely holidays, the family days out, Wet Sundays just cuddling on the sofa watching a DVD, walking the dog through the woods etc etc, And then something happened which I didn’t expect. I started to ask myself why I still loved her.
Now let’s think about this. When we first met I wasn’t attracted to her looks but she chased me and over time I fell head over heals in love with her. She was such a caring, loving, loyal and warm person who always had a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye that’s what I fell in love with.
Is she loving now? Well that depends what day it is and how she feels, one day I get ‘’ I’m so sorry please forgive me I love you’’ the next day ‘’ I love you as a friend but not a husband’’
Is she caring? Of course not otherwise she would have finished the marriage before starting the affair and wouldn’t of gone on holiday with him while I looked after my stepson, her son! thinking she was working away.
Is she Loyal? Not even going to answer that one!!
Is she that warm person? No of course not !

So everything I loved about her,she has poisoned so why do I still love her? Or do I? How can I love someone that has done so much wrong, how could she say things to me about what they did? The worst was ‘’I slept with both of you on the same afternoon’’!
I MUST OF BEEN STUPID. She has no love, respect or anything for me, her words of love to me are just lip service, Yes I loved her but I love myself more and I deserve much much more than her. So it’s me time now, no more waiting for her to make a decision on who she wants to be with, it’s crunch time.
Pack up your bags, tell your son what a cheap horrid person you really are and move out and live with what you have done.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life !!!!

my thoughts are with you keep strong, your worth it

Hi Broken1,

There is no doubt that you are way better than the way she has treated you. I can identify with some of what you say.

Whenever you weaken and feel you want her back do exactly what you did yesterday - re think the way she has treated you and the contempt she has shown for you and your marriage - this certainly works for me and will help you move on.

I am speechless. Lost for words mate. Takes a lot to shut me up I can tell you. Drop her like a hot brick. What a total and utter ***** she is. Chris

broken1,
Reading your post, I can only admire your strength of character to put up with all that.
Sooooo pleased that you have reached that stage where you have taken time to consider yourself, and drawn the conclusions that you have.
Now you can really start to recover. Good on you!
They say love is blind, and it certainly does blind you. You overlook all kinds of anomalies and imperfections in a relationship. You were really smitten. Such a shame that love was so completely betrayed. But you clearly deserve so much more. So onwards and upwards.
Take care
Mike

My heart goes out to you Broken1. It must have taken a lot of soul searching to find the answer. I sadly (or not, depending on your persective) didn't have to ask myself the question about love. He killed any love I had for him many months before I found the strength to ask him to leave.

You have rightly noticed that you are worth more than what she was offering. I hope that you can maintain your relationship with your step-son in all of this and find a way forward.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

Take Care, Sarah

Now thats more than enough kisses from me

Well done you, what you are doing takes a lot of guts and determination.