Friends - who needs em

Got a new friend request today. First one I ever had. Been on wikivorce more years than I care to remember and I have no friends, ahhh poor Nige.

Don''t all rush will you, I am a recluse after all and I want to keep it that way thanks.

Anyway, ''what the ....'', I think, someone DARES knock on Nige''s door.

Click, cautiously crack door open and peer through in best recluse-like manner ... matted wig askew, wafting wee stink.

However, my prospective friend has great news she is sharing with ''all the world'' and Nige, She is going to tell me how to

Get my husband back.

Panic. Delete. Slam door. Bolt. Drag dressing table against. Can''t beat a sturdy dressing table from the op shop to prevent entry. Even if it has only got three legs.

I am sure you all got the same good news.

Lawks a mercy, I need a reviving cuppa - alone thanks.

Stay away - all of you would-be friends. I am warning you, that dressing table lost a leg defending me that''s how brave it is (fib - was skint, got it cheap ''to repair'').

Just the wild and lonely ramblings of a recluse, take no notice of me. Thanks to Eliza for the wig and wee idea. Hey, that''d be a great name for a pub wouldn''t it ''The Wig and Wee''.

Anyone fancy a pint? I''m over this reclusive life.

Nige, on the edge of madness as usual
p.s. Can anyone else think of some good pub names where us lot could hang out ... me and Lizzydoo will be down at The Wig and Wee waiting for your responses. Here''s some:

The Poor Beggar - most of us will have called in there once or twice.
The Paddle and Duck - that''d be the Paddle we were without on that shxtty creek. I won''t spell out the duck cos will get banned, but Haway would call it feck.
And speaking of HRH, the Prince of .... well could be anything really couldn''t it.

If it''s the same message I got, I gave them a serve for promoting their guru prayer nonsense and told them to stop taking advantage of this website.
Though I had a similar text from an acquaintance, who after seeing me, sent me a text suggesting I get my hair and makeup done to make my husband jealous to get him back. It was meant well but I prefer looking like a stressed out witch for now, thanks.
In fact that would be my pub name - The Three Witches (inspired by Macbeth, The Book of Everything, and my 2 recently separated friends)

Nige.......Get it right please.
I''m a King not a Prince.
The King''s the head honcho honey
All the best
HRH xx

Fantastic you guys - you''ve really cheered me up with this post! You may have even stirred me out of my pit rather than lying here wallowing!!

I am rubbish at names but may have to stop in at the "Bull and Cow" later, depending if stbx hangs around house today!

PJ

NIgella and Vastra - have either of you reported the spammer so that we can take the appropriate action and prevent them from contacting other Wikivorce members? I haven''t seen anything come through recently.

Ruth

No - sorry Ruth I didn''t. It was such a silly, innocuous spam message and totally unimportant so I didn''t want to bother you as I thought you would get to it when you could.

Nige

We can only deal with spammers etc if we are made aware of them - including username and nature of message etc. We do rely on members alerting us to spam posts/members/etc - it''s always better to send in a quick user report or me a short pm. If we aren''t made aware, and aren''t able to deal with spammers, then they may go on to contact other members who may become alarmed at the messages they may receive - not all spammers offer love spells or quick fixes for relationships, there are those that ask for money and personal details, or send messages that contain sexual content.

PS Nige - you could never bother me