Court hearing - my experience

I'm not sure if anyone will reply to this, but just need a bit of advice.

I attended the court hearing on Tuesday. Before the actual hearing, his solicitor came and spoke to me, and tried to agree on what would happen before we went into the court room. We agreed that my ex partner would have contact with my daughter every other week, for an hour.
The place that my ex partner had suggested, I didn't see any problems with, so I agreed to it, but didn't know much about the actual place itself.

We went into the court room afterwards, and my ex refused to come in, so it was just me and his solicitor in the room.

The jugde was told of the agreement we had made, and accepted this. In the agreement, we had said that if the place we had agreed wasn't suitable, or we felt like going somewhere else, we could change it if we both agreed.

The next day, I went to visit the place, to see what it was like, and there is a inside, with the list of rules and regulations, that says they no longer allow under 5's as they have changed their facilities.

I rang my solicitor, who told me to ring my ex and make an agreement with him.

When I rang my ex, he refused to change the contact place, and refused one of the suggestions i had made as to an alternate place to go. I told him if we went to the place anyway, she wouldn't be allowed out of her pushchair, or onto the equipment, as she was too little. My ex went off on one, saying just because I had changed my mind about him seeing her, now he wasn't allowed to see her etc.

I want them to have contact, but not in somewhere that isn't suitable for her. What should I do? I'm going to go to the original place as planned, but am I wrong for keeping her in her pushchair?

Also, for those people who said about her name, my ex now knows about her name change, and the solicitor told the judge, and they said her new name will stay.

It sounds like you've done everything you can to warn him that the venue is far from ideal. You might wish to put your concern in writing (e-mail?) with suggested alternative venue so that if there is a problem (and esp. if you get the blame for it)your conscience is clear and it wil be down to him to take responsibilty for re-organising.

Hope this helps

That sounds like a good idea, thankyou! I haven't got his e-mail address, but I will write a letter, and give him a copy.
Seeing as we can change the facility in which contact can take place, I don't understand why he is being like this!

Hi

I have just been reading through your posts. You sound very mature for 18 and with only your daughter's best interests at heart.

You and your ex split when you were 6 weeks pregnant with your daughter. Your new partner supported you through your pregnancy and is daddy to your daughter.

When I got divorced my middle daughter who was then 13 changed her name to mine and my younger daughter would have changed hers too but had difficult spelling it!

A name is simply that, a name. It is the person who counts, not what the name is.

As regards the father of your daughter. I agree with offering him contact, but if he doesn't turn up to the agreed time at the agreed place, you must let it go, for your daughter's sake.

Of course, life would be wonderful if biological parents and children lived together in a sugar coated house, in blissful joy for their entire lives. But that is not what happens.

Your daughter is tiny, she is entitled to a wonderful childhood, of joy and tooth fairies and santa claus, not having to experience being let down by people and having her coat on looking out of the window for a man who has promised to take her out but who can't be bothered to turn up.

Give your daughter's biological father one last chance, if he messes it up, concentrate on bringing your little girl up with her daddy and give her the life of happiness all children are entitled to.

As for her surname, when she is older she can choose what she calls herself and as long as she knows the story of her birth, who her biological father is etc. etc. I can see no problem at all.

Good luck.

Jo x

As usual, I agree with Jo! x

Thankyou for all your help!
We had the first contact session today. When we got there, my ex was already there with his dad, and when I said about going in to the play area, they said no, and just to sit in the resturant bit outside of the play area. My ex's dad said he already knew before court, that my daughter wasn't allowed in the play area!
I said my daughter would get ratty if she was sitting for an hour looking at people eating food, and not being allowed any.
My ex then said it was ok, he had already bought her CHIPS!
I don't give my daughter oven chips, let alone greasy, salty ones from a fast food reasturant! I told him she couldn't have them.
We sat down and she started creating a bit, and crying, so i gave her one of the toys i had brought.
My ex's dad then asked if my ex could get her out and hold her, to which I said no, as she wouldn't keep her shoes on (she had already taken them off and thrown them at my ex 4 times) and it was too dangerous for her too be running around in a busy reasturant anyway. He said he would keep her on her lap, but I said she wouldn't sit still. (She is 16 months now, and very active!)
We stayed there, with my ex constantly texting on his phone, and ignoring my daughter! When he did look at her, he just touched her fingers, or her hand, then turned away again.
She got really annoyed, at having to sit in the pushchair for an hour, so 15 minutes before then contact was due to finish, my ex's dad said we should take her home.
I asked about what we were going to do for the next session, as it wasn't a good idea to come back here, and my ex said he would call his solicitor and get her to find a suitable place. He regected my ideas for places, and said he was letting his solicitor decide it all!
So not a very good session at all really!

Oh bless you!!!!!
what a numpty wanting the sol to find somewhere suitable!!!! I'm intrigued to know if they do, my sol would certainly not sit and go thru the yellow pages for me to suggest places for days out lol.
Is all this for his dad's benefit? do you think that it's the old boy who wants to see his grandaughter?
I haven't read your other posts but well done you for wasting an hour of your day! It's all about keeping your hands clean and putting your daughter first and you certainly did that. Are you able to speak directly to to dad?

Best wishes xx