new cafcass procedures - my experience

been to first court hearing today - all in all very reasonable senior looking judge
ordered a needs and wishes report by 25/1/10
and then first available date after that . and indirect contact order ie i can send letters , cards and reasonable gifts
dismissed need for alcohol test and dismissed need for finding of facts hearing ( which I am told could have been a 2 day court job with barristers - expensive )
cafcass officer and a mediator were present . Judge suggested mediation there and then which other side refused . Judge didnt seem to impressed - stbx appeared unreasonable .
Soliciotr told me to keep our powder dry and come across as the most helpful and reasonable dad in intervening period .
Lessons learnt - be patient , calm , reasonable , honest and KEEP children focussed

thanks so much for this thread, we are about 3 weeks behind you in the process. papers were recieved back and we are just about to serve the stbx with applications. i think she will pull the same allegations, etc with my partner. possibly saying kids are not safe when in his care. god knows why, w/ no history of drinking, no violence or neglect on his part when the kids used to stay..hmm.
all in all the key word is unreasonable and i hope we get a judge that can see it loud and clear.
keep us posted.

click,

Thanks for the update, sounds promising and excellent advice...albeit not easy to accomplish...but you did . Good luck and stay strong and focused.

E

rosiepose wrote:

thanks so much for this thread, we are about 3 weeks behind you in the process. papers were recieved back and we are just about to serve the stbx with applications. i think she will pull the same allegations, etc with my partner. possibly saying kids are not safe when in his care. god knows why, w/ no history of drinking, no violence or neglect on his part when the kids used to stay..hmm.
all in all the key word is unreasonable and i hope we get a judge that can see it loud and clear.
keep us posted.

yes but remember any allegations made by other side are taken very seriously in court - it states this on c100 acknowledgement - so it depends on her personality
she may lose all credibility if they cant be backed up with facts

ref alcohol u- se - if a test is ordered it goes back 3 months - knowledge is power so you can call her bluff if you think you will pass it

also i had a police caution for kicking in the door ( violent entry in my own home )
but it was not in presence of children - so when CAFCASS officer asked me about it - i said i deeply regreted it and was very remorseful
the cafcass report for the firsrt hearing said that acceptance of unreasonable behaviuor is a prerequisite for contact - and the judge didnt seem to bothered

Thanks for that.

Yes we think possibly once the application hits her doorstep and she realises the severity of what she is going to face re: court attendence, needs to provide evidence etc..she may agree to mediation or reinstate contact. In a way this is good as the older children will then not be subjected to Cafcass however as she has been so vile about the contact up till now I feel that a court order may actually BE in the best interest of the children. They have had no say in when or where they see their father up to now. I am honestly hoping a judge can see that. Fingers crossed and best luck to everyone going through this same thing.

In reply to the last post...

Yes, the ex might agree to mediation or reinstate contact. However, you will still need to go before the judge, as now that proceedings have started I believe they can not be stopped unless you both aak the judge and he/she agrees. If matters are serious enough that an application has been made then the judge has to be convinced that the children will be best served by discontinuing the proceedings.

So if the ex does agree to mediation then ask for interim contact. If instead the ex agrees to reinstate contact then accept her offer. But in both cases, while you are in front of the judge, ask that whatever the ex agrees to is drafted as an order. This will make it harder for her to change her mind after the hearing is done. You can also ask for a penal notice to be attached to the order. If necessary argue that further disruption to contact can only be detrimental to the children, and be prepared to demonstrate that the ex has backed out of previous agreements re contact.