Feeling very let down by 'the system' and CAFCASS

Stbx and I were in court on April 1st as he had filed for 50/50 residence of our children on the basis that I was about to abduct them and him never seem them again....judge recognised all was not well and ordered a CAFCASS report, date set for 29th July. CAFCASS unable to meet deadline and changed it to 15th September, changed again to 5th October. Final Hearing switched from 30th September to 5th November. I saw the officer appointed (not CAFCASS, appointed by an agency) back in July but nothing since. My stbx has proved difficult to get hold of and apparently the officer, up until mid-September anyway, had been unable to get hold of him.

Officer now saying she 'cannot complete the report' and no one else is available to do this 'at the current time'. My solicitor is chasing the head of local CAFCASS office to see if it can't be completed because stbx refusing to engage or she's over-worked. Of course, head honcho is on a 2 day jolly/at a conference.

In the meantime, we have an almost 50/50 ping-poing arrangement in place which is damaging our children and considered by many to be entirely unsuitable for children of their age. They are being smacked by the gf, are subject to hearing their mother being called a slag and other choice names, are clingy, distressed, tired and upset when returning from their fathers...and probably a ton of other stuff I know nothing about because stbx tells the eldest 'don't tell mummy or she won't let you see me'.

I have no idea what to do. The emotional distress experienced by our children in the care of a man who is unable to put their needs before his own can't possibly be quantified, let alone properly qualified. My solicitor has today acknowledged that 'the system has let me, and the children, down'. He has just changed solicitor (back to the first one!), avoiding filing his statement in reply to my statement for MPS for yet another week (or longer....).

Does anyone have any advice on now getting CAFCASS to move their backsides and get this sorted? My solicitor is hoping (not hopeful, note) that the court will be pro-active in dealing with this. How much longer can this be dragged out? Does anyone actually care about the children who are stuck in the middle of this administrative mess which allows a man like my stbx to take advantag?

This is fairly typical of CAFCASS. You can try complaining to your MP, to Anthony Douglas, to the regional manager, etc, but it won't make much difference if they don't have the resources and your ex won't cooperate.

Given the situation with CAFCASS the courts now are supposed to ask CAFCASS only to report on specific questions rather than supply generalised reports as of old. There should be a clear time-table attached to the order, and CAFCASS should only be allowed to file reports late on application to the judge. No doubt all these guidelines are ignored. You can read the new guidelines hre: www.hmica.gov.uk/files/Assisting_familie...er_19_April_2007.pdf. Is the CAFCASS report absolutely necessary, or was the court just procrastinating? Bear in mind that when you get it it will probably be inadequate.

Is there really no way you can sort this out with your ex without involving the court? Would mediation be an option? You sound a bit resistant to shared parenting (I don't know all the details) but is there really any reason why a court should not make a shared residence order once you finally get to court? The principle now (Re P [2006]) is that "Good reasons are required if a shared residence order is not to be made." If you are likely to have to accept a shared arrangement, would it not be better to agree that with your ex than to have it imposed by the court?

I'm sure there are good answers to these questions - I'm just exploring options!

Sorry, wrong link! Doh! Try this:

www.familylaw.co.uk/images/Teasers/Inter...30%20July%202009.pdf

BIG HUGS to you and the wee ones. How can the system just leave you hanging like that?
What contact did he have when he filed for SR in April? You said are at present 'almost 50/50', but it's clearly not working for any of you.

The children need stability right now. It sounds like father is being uncooperative and procrastinating. Is there any way you could agree to reduce his contact, just for the time being until everything is sorted out? Also, what's this smacking business about - what does your solicitor say about that?

BTW we had directions at end of May for a CAFCASS report. Was supposed to be ready for November, and FH in Jan. I chased CAFCASS and so did my solicitor and am now told report won't be ready until 4 days before FH...so that will probably be postponed. Delay, upon delay...

Sorry - don't mean to hog your thread, Mumtoboys, but I just found this which pretty much sums up the current situation:

wallofbrick.wordpress.com/2009/09/23/cafcass/

Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory Support Service) is finding it difficult to meet its primary aim of “putting children first” because too many of them are seeking its services.

Gatekeeping, though the Public Law Outline (the PLO) having failed under pressure of numbers following the Baby P case and a huge backlog having built up, Cafcass (England) are now offering only a “minimum” or “duty” service until the end of March 2010. This service reduction is supported by the President of the Family Division in the President’s Interim Guidance (the PIG) for England. As for the self-employed Guardian contractors (the SECs) who used pre-Cafcass to be the majority of the professional workforce and whom Cafcass now call their “flexible workforce”– Cafcass has run out of money to pay them and therefore will not be allocating any of the backlog cases to them.

What a mess. Abandon the flexible sector of your workforce exactly when flexibility is needed and display your failure to meet demand in the run-up to a general election when the party most likely to win is committed to abolishing you. Is Cafcass suffering from delusions of immortality, self-defeating personality disorder or just acronym confusion?

thanks forseti. Our children are aged 2 and 5 and we have a baby but he's not acknowledging him as his. They are spending 5 days apart from their mother every other week. It is killing them, it is too long. I am not prepared to hand over my baby to him on this basis but that is another argument for the future.

I believe that the children would be best suited to a more traditional arrangement - every other weekend and some evening contact during the week for the time being. He will not discuss anything other than 50/50. I am not saying forever, I am saying for now, whilst they are young and WANT to be with their mother, not ping-ponged around between two houses. I have tried mediation - we went once and he refused to go again. I keep asking for it but he ignores these requests.

The children are not happy, school work has plummeted (went back up when he went on holiday for nearly 3 weeks and the boys were with me) and this is why I have to try and get a residence order. I recognise I will probably not be successful. There is a longer story around his control of me and using the children to do this - he has denied me contact on many occassions and refused to allow them to attend my father's funeral despite putting in writing that he would bring them if I went ahead and left them with him. The boys didn't get to see their baby brother until 5 days after he was born, despite promises of 'flexiblity'. If I don't agree with what he says I get threatened with solicitors and further court action. Teh girlfriend is not interested in them and has been threateneing them, whilst he stands by. I have had to call Social Services, backed up by a neighbour, as her 3 year old child got out of the house onto the road whilst in the care of her older brother (who was asleep and could not be roused by the neighbhour) - I know my children are left with this boy on a regular basis and he is clearly not able.

I am not one of those mothers who will stop contact. I recognise that he is their father and that he needs to see them - he doesn't see it the same. He has told them to call the girlfriend 'mummy' and he introduced them to her just 8 days after leaving the family home. They just need some stability and to come to terms with what has happened. The oldest is scared he is not going to see me again - daddy has told them he is taking them with him when he moves away. Never discussed with me, of course! He is also denying co-habiting when we all know what's going on...I have suggested a three way mediation with the girlfriend but again it is ignored.

It's a mess. I allowed it to happen because I thought it would be best for them but it hasn't worked out that way and un-doing it is impossible!

pooter - both boys complain they are being smacked on a regular basis by the girlfriend. I have discussd with solicitor - beleives best dealt with by CAFCASS or I would have to call the police! It's not illegal to smack, that's the problem. Although I guess it can be treated as an assault on the children. She also threatened to cut the legs of the 2 year old's Pooh Bear and put him in the bin! I have tackled this with the stbx and this was apparently 'a joke'. Hmmmm...it caused so much anxiety in both boys that they leave their soft toys at my house now instead of taking them and I haven't told them to do that!