do i tell my 5 year old about the upcoming court..

Me again!

ive been weighing up whether i should tell my daughter about my court case for more contact.

Obviously i would be put in very simple terms and nothing negitive would be said about mummy

I know that world war 3 will be erupting in my ex's house and i thought that if i explained to my daughter that "daddy wants to see her more and that mummy isn't very happy about it so a man called a judge has to decide whether i can or not" or something like that

at least then she will have a rough idea why mum is screaming and shouting..... or is it best to say nothing

so more advice needed, many thanks

Unless D raises the issue don't say anything. Children should be kept out of it altogether. It is bad enough one parent screaming and shouting without the other confusing them further with another story.

If D does say something, give her a hug and reassure her that no matter what both parents love her and any dispute is between adults.

Unless D raises the issue don't say anything. Children should be kept out of it altogether. It is bad enough one parent screaming and shouting without the other confusing them further with another story.

If D does say something, give her a hug and reassure her that no matter what both parents love her and any dispute is between adults.

So upto what age of the children should you not say anything and keep them out altogether?

Fiona wrote:

Unless D raises the issue don't say anything. Children should be kept out of it altogether. It is bad enough one parent screaming and shouting without the other confusing them further with another story.

If D does say something, give her a hug and reassure her that no matter what both parents love her and any dispute is between adults.

Having followed this route, I was devastated when one of our children expressed that for nine years he had hid concerns as to why I had not taken the court route in case the shouting parent went off on one. And huh...so had I.

As for being matters bad enough the children hear the shouting parents bollox, pussy footing round these selfish controlling parents does not always work.

Best wishes mad, as its a living hell when your in such a situation.

Elle x

Hi madaboutcars

I agree with Fiona - children don't need to know about the fight - they only need to know that both parents love them and want to be with them.

I know that my children would have stressed about us having to go to court over issues relating to them and it seems so unnecessary. We are there to protect and nurture our children; they don't need to be party to the adult issues and conversations.

I think about the teenagers I work with and the level to which they involve themselves in adult affairs. They fight their parents' battles in school. It's absolutely not something they are emotionally prepared for and lack the maturity to have a balanced view about. All this knowledge and information seems to do is disturb their ability to focus on what is important to a child.

Shezi

Shezi wrote:

- children don't need to know about the fight - they only need to know that both parents love them and want to be with them.

I know that my children would have stressed about us having to go to court over issues relating to them and it seems so unnecessary. We are there to protect and nurture our children; they don't need to be party to the adult issues and conversations.

Unfortunately the controlling PWC imparts their side/view/screams/shouts and overlooks to tell the children that the NRP loves them when they are imparting these "parental skills"

Children are stressed going to court for any reason, some parents leave that as the only option open to the other, some are dragged through the courts for years, some try it once and find that the hospitalisation of these "screaming" accommodated parents left them unable to comply with the contact they were awarded....some cases are rather extreme and it is harder for people in these situations with unnecessary added considerations from those whom it all worked out for in the end.

What does appear common is that if the PWC can be reasonable and is not denied support, matters resolve earlier...an observation of posts...not fact.

Elle x