Does my ex have to be at court?

Hi All,

well as most of you will probrobly know, i have had a horrendous time with my stbexh, and after yet another sleepless night i thought i would ask your advice on the following.

My stbex has decided to take me to court for can you believe after all he has done custody of our 2 boys, what i want to know is does he have to be at court with his solicitor? the reason i ask this is because he works away and i am aware that he went back yesterday, (he works 2 weeks away 3 weeks home )he has thankfully broken off all communication with me and the children for the last 2 weeks, (i say thankfully because he was making mine and the childrens life hell), surely if he is the one taking me to court he should at least have the decency to turn up, i cant see how he is able to turn up if he is stuck in the middle of the north sea, it will be our first court hearing when we will meet with a caffcass officer, i am aware that this hearing usually only takes 15-20 minutes, but even so he should be there shouldnt he? also will i see or speak to caffcass before the court date which is next thursday, can anyone also tell me what will happen at this hearing please, will caffcass ask any questions if so what are they likely to ask?

Thanks for taking time to read this x

Hello - not sure of the legalities of it, but yes, I expect that he should be there. I would prepare yourself for it being cancelled and re-arranged for a time when he is around.

My stbx and I filed for residence at exactly the same time. He got a good 45 mintues with CAFCASS and then I went in. She had written pages of notes from her conversation with him and wrote nothing at all in the 15 minutes she spent with me! I have no idea why that was the case - I can only assume that it was because his application was based on un-proven so-called violence and mental health issues (I am a total nutter, apparently!) and mine was far more subtle in approach and was focused on the children that they asked him questions but had little to ask of me. Reports were ordered - we're in the middle of this at the moment. It's not much fun but I have found them to be helpful and more than willing to listen. Of course, they will be doing the same with him. We have a court date for end of September for the final outcome. I am dreading it.

Hope all goes well for you. I am sure things will work out - try not to worry. It's all very informal and friendly at some level, not how you might imagine 'court' to be.

Hi Mumtoboys and thank you for your reply,

do you think it would be worth ringing caffcass to find out if the case is still going ahead? we have had our date for a while now and my stbex has known about it for some time now, im pressuming it is not going to be cancelled or postponed, well not unless he is plying more of his silly mind games and leaving it to the last minute.

Hope all goes well for you too xx

I think it would need to be the court that you phoned and yes, why not?

Hi,

Reading that you 2 are in the process of the RO, I would like to ask how long you have to wait for the first hearing after the application has been sent?

My lawyer is filing the RO for me but she, as the only lawyer in her own company, must be too busy to reply my emails. As I have a job lined up to start in Sept, my future boss asked me how often and how long I would need to take leave to attend court (I reside outside HK). Boss said if I need to take a week off in the first 3 months (is a contract job for a few months only)then she can't have me working for her.

As I need to fly into England to attend court, I can only take the max 3 days off and that including the flying hours. By knowing when the first hearing will be, will help me to decide if I should take up the job or inform my would be boss to find a replacement.

Your help is greatly appreciate.

Hi,

my stbexh sent the forms in on the 19th of june and we got the date of the 13 august ( which is tomorrow ) im not sure if there is a specific time scale for every case but i hope this gives you some idea.


good luck with your new job if you take it.

Rollercoasterride.

Thank you roller. That helps a lot already. Good luck to you too. By the way, is your hearing going to last just a day? Cos I believe taking leave for 2 to 3 days in a week is ok.