What happens if stbx moves back into the house

I am so depressed and confused that I am thinking of asking stbx to put a hold on the divorce even though I started divorce proceedings I was orignially on legal aid and in the meantime whilst waiting for my legal aid certificate he has arranged for a court hearing to settle financial issues in august we only separated in march and i now feel pressurised I have got myself a private solicitor as legal aid does not seem to be very good but i am so stressed and depressed that i do not feel ready to make these life changing decisions on behalf of myself and my children (i dont know what i want to do) divorcing stbx for adultery petition served and i assume he has signed it can i now ask him to cancel form E hearing in august and just separate to give myself some time and space. If he insists on moving back to the matrimonial home which i think he may can i put him in the study and stil maintain my financial status i.e. i am claiming income support, tax credits, and carers allowance for my mother who lives with us whilst i get myself better and come to terms with things or will this all jeopardise benefits and adultery petition.

Someone please help me i am so confused and worried one day i can cope ok with children, mum, life etc the next day i get up and i just cannot function at all. I dont know what to do for the best. He does not seem to know what he is doing either he thought i had brought the court case he has no idea what his solicitor is doing. He is living with person he had affair with of this i am sure and yet he says he loves me and kids and wants to come back ....... I just dont know what to do for the best for myself, my children, my mum says if he comes back she will go into a home which is just causing me more to worry about but there is nothing i can do to get off this rollercoaster ride and i feel trapped.

Please someone give me some advice and help me.

I am not an expert on this,I think you can delay the Decree Absolute.I know when you are angry you can rush into these things without being emotionally prepared.You can withdraw from the divorce at anytime before the absolute.I do not know where you stand financially.ask your solicitor to dalay things for a bit.
Things will get better,do not get so desperate.But think well before let him back into your life again.

thanks maria i will i am just so unsure what to do i dont want to see my children go without or hurt anymore i just dont know which way to turn and feel like im under so much pressure.

Hi lifesabitch

I think you might be at risk of compromising your financial status by moving your husband back in. If you search other threads you will find most people have the problem in reverse - they cant physically seperate but are trying to establish themselves as 'seperated'. I understand why you might want to stop the speed of the divorce but does that really mean you have to move back into the same house? Cant he stay elsewhere (presumably not with his mistress) whilst you talk through what you both want?

I think you would be putting yourselves under alot of pressure when theres clearly quite a lot to work through.

trouble is rasher i dont think he can afford to stay anywhere else he lies and says he is staying with his mother but i know this is not true as they dont get on and doubt she would want him to she has been living with someone herself for a while and would not want him there

if i put this on hold he will complain he has nowhere to go

This is a tricky one - if you stay on this site and read some of the posts and pop into the chat room - you will find out what a nightmare it can be living with someone who you ultimately decide you have no future with.

What he seems to be saying right now - is he had an affair, it was a mistake, he has to live with her because he cant live with you. So you should let him back home or give him a divorce so he can have his share of the money.

Not really giving you many options is he? He says he loves you but what proof do you really have that hes going to put you and the children first? In stead of you taking all the pressure why dont you put the pressure on him - tell him you are not sure this is the end, but you need time to talk things through - he needs to demonstrate his commitment by finding a way to give you that space but not living with the OW. If its that important he will find a way. Youre right March until now is no time at all so it is moving a bit quick. Why dont you try mediation - it might help sort some of this out and if it doesnt you can get the financials worked through in the same service. Mediation is less confrontational than sols and might help sort some of this out for you - it would mean a netural party asking the relevant questions and might help you figure out if its worth giving things another go. Wish you lots of luck - Rasher