advice on Divorce please

Hi all,

My wife and I have been officially separated for about a month now, but there were problems a few weeks to a few months prior to this.

After nearly 25 years of good marriage, she suddenly ''changed'' and I found out she had been meeting up with another man behind my back. Obviously, I''m gutted and heartbroken but she shows little sign of changing, has broke up with this original guy and is constantly seeking strangers online. The family and I have nearly had just enough of her. I would forgive her and hope she snaps out of whatever has taken over her but would take a lot of hard work.

However, worst case scenario, if I get a divorce is it a good idea to use a "quickie divorce" company? They look good and best of all it will be quick, if I decide to finally cut totally loose and be rid of her. I would hate to be stuck in limbo land for years.

I know one of the grounds for divorce is adultery, and another unreasonable behaviour. Not 100% sure if she has had actual sex with any of these men yet but it wouldn''t surprise me. If not, it''s on the cards. I think if I asked her she would tell me. I have been through the stage of not knowing, and not really wanting to know as the though is so distressing.

We own a house together. Both our names are on the mortgage but she moved out about a month ago and let me and my 24 year old son live here. We have nothing else of great value. She has a pension which is reasonable. I have a pension but is barely worth a mention.

Would we have to sell the house or could it remain as it is with my son and I living here, if my wife agreed? Also, what of the mortgage company? I can afford the small mortgage of just over £400 pm but would the mortgage lender want to pull the rug from under me if they knew my wife and I were getting divorced?

Any advice appreciated. Thanks guys.

Hi Brokenhearted77,

I''m sorry that this is happening to you; it must be very difficult for you.

You ask about using a company that offers "quick divorces" (I have edited out the name and weblink as it looks like an advert) - just a few things; there isn''t any such thing as a "quick divorce" - divorce is a legal process, and even with an uncontested, straight-forward divorce where everything is agreed, it will still take around 5 or 6 months. Be cautious about "Quick Divorce" services from unregulated websites.They are not qualified to offer legal advice. You have few rights if things go wrong. When looking at using such a service, there are some basic questions to ask:


When you call ask will it be a lawyer who does the work from start to finish, if the answer is no put the phone down, don`t take any flannel about expert case managers, there is no such thing, anyone can call themselves an expert case manager.

Google the name of the company and then "complaints" if there is a heap of them give them a wide berth.

Price, if they advertise £30ish its too good to be true, leave it alone.

Do they have indemnity insurance are they VAT registered ect, do your home work.

Who are they?, not just the name but who owns the company?, many advertise in a number of names but are owned by one single company.

Do they have any accreditation, government funding?, links to .Gov sites?.

The two links below give you more information:

Common myths about the ''cost of divorce'' and ''quickie'' divorces

Why use a regulated law firm?

Re the "grounds" of divorce = if you are not sure she has committed adultery, the I suggest you use unreasonable behaviour (you can cite "an inappropriate relationship" as one of the five examples of her unreasonable behaviour). If a respondent in an adultery Petition refuses to sign, then the petition will fail, and (unless it''s amended to UB, which will incur additional fees and delays), won''t progress any further. You can find out more about the divorce process by reading the Wikivorce Divorce Guide

I think a good starting point for you would be to call the Wikivorce helpline tomorrow and talk through your options with one of our advisers.