Is it really this brutal or am I kidding myself?

I''m separating from a 25 year relationship and a 17 marriage from my husband. It''s not been the happiest relationship, with several counts of cheating (on his side)early on. Years of emotional/verbal and on 2 occasions physical abuse, lack of emotional support when needed or in a crisis. He admittedly over the last 12 months has tried to be a better person, but he always seemed to change into a nicer person when he''d done something and I said I was leaving. So I''ve no ideas if this is something that he will continue, but I''ve decided I can''t live like this for the rest of my life and want to separate. I want to discuss and at least try to resolve the finances in reasonable manner. I have no one else and I am in no rush to start again. My solicitor says that I should start divorce proceedings immediately based on previous behaviours and one within the last 6 months, namely he promised to decorate the house to sell it and hasn''t. I can''t get my head around jumping straight in with all guns blazing and ending our marriage due to ''lack of decorating''? Or am I being naïve to think talking at first before issuing proceedings is better? Any advice welcomed

Hi Lois

Sounds like you have had a lot to cope with over the years.

Leaving a long relationship can be scary and only you can go through it if and when you feel ready. It took me a long time before I felt ready and at that point I felt I had no option as I knew I could not spend the rest of my life living with deceit and someone who had shown such little respect for me and my feelings. It might be a good idea to try and talk or even try counselling. At least then you will know you have tried everything you can.

Best Wishes