Confused

Today i was told by a mutual friend of mine and STBX's,that he cannot or should not contact me to talk about or discuss things.She said this is what his solicitor has told him.

I was under the impression that if we wanted to discuss the Consent Order,come to an agreement or just talk about our divorce etc (but not the contents of form E that we are currently filling in)then that is up to us.

I am not sure either. I know when I said to my solicitor I will talk to my husband. She sent me a letter saying as I have instructed a solicitor I am not allowed to contact my husband and all correspondence has to be through mine and his solicitor. Not sure now if she just said this to increase my bill now. As all that has happened is loads of unnecessary letters. I would be interested to know the answer as well. Maybe it is different when you are self representing.

I received a letter from STBX solicitor informing me that she would be representing him and that any documentation should be forewarded to her rather than directly to my STBX,I get that,but we are the ones divorcing and trying to agree consent order terms so surely as you point out,general conversation should be encouraged to reach this agreement. I don't mean offers etc. But if i have something to ask my STBX regarding something petty/general and letters go back and forth,someone is going to end up with an unnecessary bill and its not going to be me.

I completely agree with you. I understand solicitors are doing their job but I feel now that it seems I have lost my identity. I envy you for self representing I wish I had done that.

Have you tried contacting your ex to see how he feels?

We have almost no contact,my choice due to his narcissist personality but when i do txt a question he now says "go through my solicitor"
I did think it was part of his game playing but like i say,i have recently been told he is under the impression we shouldnt be talking.
Not really sure what to do.

Maybe just keep communication through his Solicitor then. If he has told you that is what he wants and then at least you can't be accused of doing the wrong thing. All I know is that it is so easy to get married but so hard to get divorce. The whole process is so stressful and just feels like there is no end. Saying that I am not sure how I will feel once the Decree Absolute comes through and actually seeing I am divorced on paper.

If you've been asked to communicate through their solicitor, do that. Otherwise you may end up facing accusations of harassment. See www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Advice...rrasment.html#495152 for someone else going through the next step in this situation.