% of family home split...

After initially agreeing via mediation,to split the family home 50/50 once our child reaches 18,i have now changed my mind.
I would like a split of 70/30 in my favour.
STBX will not agree to this so it looks like i will be taking it to court and i will self rep...
What i would like to know is...
who suggests the % split ?
is it entirely down to the judge once he has all the info or do i say that i am hoping for a 70/30..?

The important thing to consider is not the percentage split but how much it will cost to meet your needs for housing and income now and in the future.

You need to work out the cost of a two bed property and find out how much mortgage you are each able to raise.

If there is enough in the equity for you both to buy, then it is fairly straightforward to sort out the split.

If there isn''t then you need to look at your options, one of which may be a mesher order (which is what you had agreed) that defers sale until a trigger is reached.

The whole financial picture needs to be considered - including pensions etc and other things like ages, incomes, length of marriage.

The important thing to remember is that financial settlement is about needs first. If there is more than enough in the pot to satisfy your needs then the question is how the surplus is divided.

This is what the judge will look at. Even if you do decide to take the court route, you should be negotiating all the time to try to reach a sensible settlement. Court is not an easy option. It can be very costly financially and emotionally. The chances are you could end up with a settlement that neither of you like. Far better, if you can, to reach agreement and go for a Consent Order.

Hadenoughnow

All STBX says is.." i want my half now".
I have tried to negotiate with him,make offers,see things from his point of view but no matter what i say he just keeps saying he wants his money now,he doesn''t even acknowledge mine or our childs current or future needs,he just thinks of his own.
He is very selfish,self centred and controlling.
He was extremely angry and disappointed when he realised he was going to have to wait until our child reaches 18.
I felt pressured into agreeing to a 50/50 split as he would not consider or listen to anything i said,so i felt i had no other option.
I have not worked outside the home for nearly 30years and am currently a carer for my mother,so no mortgage possibilities.
STBX due to retire in July 16 but will continue to work self employed.
Nothing in the marital pot other than a mortgage free house worth £130k.
I just feel that if i were to self rep and go to court,the worse that can happen is the judge orders a 50/50 split when our child is 18.
So i will be no worse off by taking this route,but could end up a little better off.

A 50/50 split when your child is 18 means your ex waiting until they are 72 to get anything though.

Are you changing your mind to a 70/30 split now or is that a split you are suggesting when your child is 18?

Where will you live once you have to pay your ex his share?

Will you be able to raise the money without having to sell?

Will this still be the case if house prices rise over the next 7 years?

STBX thought that attending mediation would result in the house being sold immediately.
He is now well aware this will not take place until our child reaches 18,hence his very angry reaction.
Due to my circumstances i would not be able to buy him out/obtain a mortgage.
Our only asset is the family home.
I am changing my mind to a 70/30 split and for it to take place when our child reaches 18.
If we were to sell now and i downsize to a 2 bed it would only leave around 20k surplus.
I have no idea where i will live in 7yrs once the split takes place wether it is a 50/50 or a 70/30, i assume i would be expected to rent.

We have been through this before.

The choices are: you downsize and pay him whatever is left over plus any other money you can raise through family. This may be as much as 40k. This will give him immediate cash. It means a much higher percentage to you but keeps your cash in property to eventually benefit your child.

You stay where you are and have a Mesher Order to be triggered when your child is 18 (or perhaps finishes uni?). You will still have the problem of rehousing yourself. 50:50 may be considered fair if he has to wait for the money. You may be able to get a more favourable split if you can make a strong case for how much it would cost to rehouse. Bear in mind you would be looking at a one bed place.

You sell now, give him what he wants and move into rented accommodation. Your lump sum will be used up on rent as you will have too much to claim benefits.

Is there any possibility that you will acquire any lump sums (inheritance?) before the Mesher is triggered? You could have a clause that allows you to buy him out early.

You say you are carer for your mother. Is it possible he thinks you should move in with her?


Hadenoughnow

STBX knows i would not be able to move in with my mother,she has a small 1 bed apartment in elderly sheltered accommodation.
As much as i would like to pay him off by raising cash from family,i would rather not owe them such a large amount.
I had originaly agreed to a 50/50 split with a mesher order and clause to pay him off sooner if i could,but after speaking to a solicitor,he suggested i could possibly receive a 70/30 split if i took him to court,with the split taking place when our child reaches 18/19,again with a clause to pay him off sooner.