Disaster!

Have known a guy for about 3 years but our paths only cross every few months. We get on great he''s easy to talk to and in a similar situation to me.

So, we kept talking and trying to arrange a night out, but never got there, until last night.

We went for a meal and it was so good to go out although it felt strange. Then it came to....... and I just couldn''t... It just was not right and I feel so bad. For him and me. He was lovely about it but he must feel let down.

I was with my ex 17 years and it''s now 4 years since the bombshell dropped. Have coped with my feelings and my son''s and it''s not been easy. For those who know me, my son''s relationship with his dad is almost non existent, but this week he is in Wales with his dad and new family in this glorious weather, so I think that is making me feel worse.

I so want to move on and this lovely guy could have been the first step. Maybe he''s not right or maybe it''s still too soon. But 4 years???

Going to do some gardening to cheer myself up. Enjoy the sunshine.

Don''t be too hard on yourself. It was a first date and maybe you felt rushed/ overwhelmed at end of evening.

If he is a nice guy he will understand. Give it time. See how you feel after a couple more dates.

Don''t think there will be any more, not if he''s got any sense!!

A first date how lovely but don''t feel pressurised into doing anything you don''t want to do or feel like a failure because you think everyone else is doing it.

Tell him you want to take things slowly it''s not a race a gentleman would understand that.

Gawd. Aint you hard on yourself? Getting jiggy with it on the 1st date? No one does that. Its a bit of a no no. Not saying it does not happen or should not happen. Its something I wouldnt expect and something I would be more concerned how I decline to risk offending the other person.

If I can offer you one piece of advice.. You are new to this. And you have not dated anyone for a while. Crossing the line is something you MAY want to consider after perhaps a few weeks or months of dating someone. If you did offer it on the 1st date, chances are the OP would decline or maybe accept and never see you again as they may think that your "easy".

Not saying your body is a temple (mine is fallen down BTW ) but you should save that part of you for someone you believe is worthy of it. And you cant know that on a first date. Chill. He will prob call you in a couple of days and arrange another date.

Lastly. Be friends first and foremost. We need to be friends with a potential lover as there will be hard times. And we need to be able to fall back on that friendship. Also, if it dont work out, you have your friendship. And we can never have enough friends. C.

Well done to you Perin for giving it a go. You can give me all the details when we arrange our little get together soon.

Luv
Bulldog

Thanks guys, have had a really down day and feel as if I have gone back to my depressed state. Haven''t felt this low in ages.

I miss my son I think that isn''t helping, although I know he will be having a good time with his dad in the sun it just makes me remember what I am missing.

Thanks again wiki friends, don''t know where I''d be without you all xxxx