Should I give my ex a piece of my mind

Hi Karen and Cindygirl

thankyou both. You both sound as if you've been through hell as well.
A big well done to your son Karen achieving 3 excellent grades at A level. To achieve this having gone through alot of personnal pain and changes in his life within the last 6 mths too.
My daughter had her AS results, she achieved 3 A's and a U. The U was in an exam she sat the day after her dad left!!! I hope she manages to do as well as your son did in her A levels next year.
I thought I'd add my ex left me for an older model, what an insult, it may not be quite as bad if she was a younger model

Jenny
x

I feel very sorry for you.
Unfortunately it seems that the party who is the one who has the affair has the benefit of already having made the decision to move on.
To excuse their behaviour and hide their guilt they often behave incredibly insensitively to the partner they have left and their children.
They often deny any wrong doing whatsoever and hide behind this get over it attitude.Life moves on they will not accept or take ownership of the fact they really have hurt a lot of their family.
It is extremely unfortunate that your hubbie values his relationship with his new partner over his relationship with his son of 19 years.The woman he is with should be more accomodating to his children's feeling as well and let him forge a relationship in privacy with his kids with an adult understanding that whilst this is at the moment as everyone adjusts this will not be the case forever and they will be integrating eventually.
Quite frankly I feel your husbands actions towards his children are appaling and I think you should freely be calling him a c-nt!
All the best
Pete xx

Hi jenny

I have had probs with the ex's now new wife , our children aged 10 and 12 refuse to see her, so there has been blakmail if i allow (even though it's the kids who refuse) them to see her then he has no problem seeing the kids, my kids have the new wife whom is calling the shots threw her jealousy she can't bare the fact he has kids , even though she is a mother herself , i can't work her out either.

There is no form of contact whatsoever and it's creeping up to a yr begining of next month, i think he is gonna beat his previous record of 16 months and no contact he only see them breifly last summer as he had split with her,if thats the sort of man my ex really is then he can really go **** himself the kids are doing fine without him.

Hi all,
Basically, the person in the marriage that makes that decision to cheat, have an affair and ultimately move in with their latest beau will have had time to adjust their feelings considerably. It will have taken planning, so, they will have talked about it to their so called GF/BF, consequently they will be many steps up on the emotional
staircase. They have done what THEY wanted, they are happy about it, they refuse to acknowledge that they have done anything wrong. That is when the bullets of blame fly around, because it is not their fault, is it?
The injured party is left reeling and spinning, no time to adjust to the enormity of the situation. They are hurt and vulnerable, and just cannot understand how the other party is celebrating his or her new life so quickly and blatantly. It is cruel, and uncaring but, there is nothing you can say or do that will change their minds on anything. Writing, shouting, txting, phoning will make no difference whatsoever, their plan has been executed.
They are on a high and the injured party is on a low,and most of the time there are children to care for. That is the biggest kick in the stomach, how can the children be ignored. They can, they really do not care.
It is hard, I know I bumped into my ex with his (previously one owner GF) a couple of times in the early days. I am so glad I had my high heeled boots on. Slightly intimidated she felt, good. The relationship with my ex and his two boys is awful, they have never forgiven him, none of my influence on that at all. 10 years down the line!!! My ex even drives past the road that my son lives in and phones to say that he is doing so, does not visit him has not for 4 years. My son goes to London when he can afford the petrol.
Just do not underestimate the uncaring selfishness that these cheats can display.
Zara

Just to say I feel for everyone in this horrible situation.

My husband moved out last month. Neither of my sons seem bothered about seeing him. I think, as teenagers, they find his pathetic wearing of "trendy" clothes (he's 53 for goodness' sake) embarrassing, and he's made it quite clear that his wants and feelings are more important to him than anyone else's, and that he is fine with spending his free time with new woman and her kids who are younger, but not bothered about our two.

I feel disappointed in myself that I chose to live with this man, marry him and have children with him. Was he always this insensitive and shallow?