Would this be a bad move for me?

Hi All,

It has been 6 weeks since my wife and I split up. She seemed pretty adamant that I could never make her happy and I might say gave me the impression that she hated me.

I was given this advice a long time ago. It was to read a book. A book that I had always thought might be a trashy novel. I also according to the book want to fix problems myself which is apparently a man's way. The book is YES you've guessed it "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus".

I am just a little way into the book (2nd or 3rd chapter) but now beginning to recognise where not only I went wrong but why my ex and I probably couldn't relate.

I feel now that it might be just grasping at straws but I wish I could contact her and tell her to read it. I don't however wish to have any contact but wish I could get the message across. Any ideas?

I don't know where she is but she does have a change of address in. I suppose I could just post a copy to the old address with her name on and it and nothing else. Would this mean though that my no-contact resolve would go and all the bad feelings that I have under control now would come flooding back? I also think that she would be very aware of who sent it to her and might perhaps just ignore it or even ceremoniously burn it?

Advice please. In retrospect she might have moved on?

Hi Scoob,
I think what you are feeling at the moment is the 'self satisfaction' thing that we all go through, you need to prove a point. We have all felt like it.
There were lots of things that I felt he should have known, I used to write them down, a couple of days later read them and think, thank god I did not send it.
You are going through the process of self healing.
I think it would be a wrong move for you, because I do not think you will ever find out if the purpose in which it was sent was recognised.
I know how you feel. Just hold fire on doing anything like that.
There is the chance that she has moved on, and being snubbed or rejected could just throw you back to stage 1 again.
If you feel you need to so something write it down on here and post it here, by the time you have done that you might feel a bit different.
Emotions eh? who would have them!!!!

zara

I guess it depends on your reason for wanting her to read it. You need to let her find her own way - practically everyone has heard of that book, even if they haven't read it. Only she can move on in the direction she wants to and you have to step back. Hope that doesn't sound too brutal.

No it doesn't sound too brutal and many thanks guys. My reasons are mixed. I at the moment do want her to realise that I am not the ogre she painted me as. I also want her to realise that it fell apart because our lack of understanding of our differences.

I guess we had our chance and we blew it. All will become apparent one day to both parties but I am finding to book very revealing and possibly it is my way of moving on and looking forward rather than back. It is becoming clearer now but not out of the woods yet so please keep your comments flowing. It is still very difficult for me to just accept it is all over and there is no return