A dilemma

Well my STBX has decided shes going for another night out. After all the cheating and lying, I thought we had an understanding to reside in the same house for the sake of the kids until the house sells, while I pay the bills and keep things amicable...... We now have a minute of agreement in place pending a divorce after 1 yrs separation and had hoped the house would go asap but the market being what it is this hasn''t happened yet.

The last night out 6mths ago resulted in her spending part of the night with someone else and trying to slip into the house and into bed with me! yuk! This was the 3rd time I know of and same guy I caught her with the first time 6yrs prior.

I''m not sure I can endure another night of torture wondering what/where/whom she is with... although I have accept our marriage is over I still care for her but cannot allow this to continue so I think its time to leave and avoid the torment. She pretends to be nice caring but is so sly in her actions I can only say shes smiling inside watching me suffer....

Is it a bad move to leave before divorce/house sale?

Thankyou to everyone for past and future advice.

I left the house and regret doing so for a number of reasons, financial, emotional but mainly because the children see the house as their home. Another thing to think about is if she is openly seeing this guy how would you feel if she brought him back to the family home or even worst moved him in. My ex brought his new GF into the family home and it''s hard to deal with, it was like all the deceit all over again I would concentrate on putting all your energy into getting the house sold so you can move on with a new life with your children. Financially it''s not a good move especially as you will need to cover hers and your housing costs too.

Good luck

I know this is hard to bear Lied2 but you cant leave for this reason. You would disadvantage yourself so much and she would have someone there within the day. Then you would be forked as you would never get them out. Your divorcing. If she wants to drown herself with lots of sexual partners thats her lookout and to some extent, thats her way of dealing with it. I have been there. I did this when newly separated. Its a lonely old place waking up in someone else''s home. Kids banging on the door wanting breakfast. Asking myself "what am I doing?".

So my advice to you. Have your own room if you can. Or at least a part of the house that you can lock off and she cant attack you there. And put this to the back of your mind. This is just a step you have to go thru to get out and be free of her. Thats the answer. What you have to do or endure on the way doesnt matter. Just the prize. Focus on that. Be strong. C.

Thankyou very much to both of you for your responses. It is so difficult to keep a clear train of thought and focus on the bigger picture at times.

I''m an emotional wreck, living on nerves and gut instinct. I struggle to deal with all this, living a life stunned that its mine, I almost want to pinch myself and wake up like its a bad dream. .... ... sadly i''ve tried and nothing is harsher than reality.....

Thank you for the words of inspiration and giving me the drive to go on. ... .. its good to know there will be light somewhere along the tunnel.

Be strong she will play on your weakness. Hope it gets easier for you.