Backwards

After 3 months, I was making great progress and getting better and stronger each day.

But now, I have a taken a big step backwards. Why? because my ex decided to reel me back in again last week. We went out a lot and kissed and cuddled and suddenly it was honeymoon time again. This morning I took her to the airport. She is going to Ukraine (to her parents) for a month with my two children. This morning she was cool again! Wouldn't accept 10 pounds from me to make sure she could get a coffee the other side of customs.

Often, when they see you getting away, they pull you back under their control! It's a nightmare and undoes so much healing. I am not back where I was of course but it feels like I lost a month of healing power.

I am also going to miss my children terribly! A very lonely day.

Andy

ps We broke up after she had affairs on and off the internet

God I hate rollercoaster rides and it sounds like you are on one at the moment. Sorry you are feeling sad. If only we could be in control of our emotions, human failing really.
We have all been there and know how you are feeling. It makes you wonder sometimes if some people do actually have no feelings.
Have some special 'you' time it might help you go get back on track. You have a month to build yourself back up again.
The worse thing is not having anyone to tell, at least you have people here that understand.
I am sure your children will miss you too.
Keep posting and I am sure each day you will get better and better.
Good luck
Zara

It sounds as if she obviously still has feelings for you but is either very confused or scared to let you totally free.

My husband did this to me about a month ago (albeit long distances as he is abroad at the moment). He started to ring me, text me, skype me with long conversations about how sorry he was (never actually saying he wanted to get back together), leaning on me for support, taking an interest in the children. He started questioning me on whether I was seeing somebody else (he had an affair which I found about whilst working abroad). I am sure it was his ego couldn't take the thought of it but he's still not prepared to commit and ask for a second chance and I'm sure as hell not going to!! He suddenly started to withdraw again and when I wasn't having any of it has now become cold and distant again. He told me last week that he had a solicitors letter on the way for divorce but as yet nothing. I think he was bluffing but still don't know if it's really what he wants or he is just playing with me.

Either way it is very hard and it will be hard for the next month but as you say the setbacks are never as painful as that very first few weeks because you have got stronger without even realising just how much you can cope with.

Why don't you try and plan some trips or days out for when the children come back to give you something to focus on. Just a thought.

Linda

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