Pass the barge-pole!

Matt/24/7 wrote:

"slappurus-knickersoffalotus",

Matt: Sounds like you're well acquainted with the lady from the Rochester pub!

...and get this: she came and sat with me on my birthday; just days before I married Dickhead: and she's sitting there with her boobs surgically tucked up to chin level; obviously tied behind her ears and says: "You should enhance your cleavage, and showmore"... When I said that I didn't want men staring at my cleavage; she replied that she did it because it stopped men noticing the lines on her face!

Still; she's the lucky one, she got off lightly... I ended up marrying the toad; and I'm stuck here... I think it's time to lower my morality; drop my knickers to my knees; drag my boobs up from my knees; and act like that.

Form an orderley queue gentlemen!

Now this is another species, the tart from Rochester.
She is slowly changing her body with surgery trying to immitate her male counterpart. Are you sure he was a toad, usually a frog you have to kiss. Should have done this


ONCE UPON A TIME
> IN A LAND FAR, FAR AWAY
> A BEAUTIFUL, INDEPENDENT
> SELF-ASSURED PRINCESS
> HAPPENED UPON A FROG AS SHE SAT
> CONTEMPLATING ECOLOGICAL ISSUES
> ON THE SHORES OF AN UNPOLLUTED POOL
> IN A VERDANT MEADOW NEAR HER CASTLE.
>
> THE FROG HOPPED INTO THE PRINCESS'S LAP
> AND SAID: ELEGANT LADY
> I WAS ONCE A HANDSOME PRINCE
> UNTIL AN EVIL WITCH CAST A SPELL UPON ME
> ONE KISS FROM YOU, HOWEVER
> AND I WILL TURN BACK
> INTO THE DAPPER YOUNG PRINCE THAT I AM
> AND THEN, MY SWEET, WE CAN MARRY
> AND SET UP HOUSEKEEPING IN YOUR CASTLE
> WITH MY MOTHER
> WHERE YOU CAN PREPARE MY MEALS
> CLEAN MY CLOTHES, BEAR MY CHILDREN
> AND FOREVER
> FEEL GRATEFUL AND HAPPY DOING SO.
>
> THAT NIGHT
> AS THE PRINCESS DINED SUMPTUOUSLY
> ON LIGHTLY SAUTEED FROGS LEGS
> SEASONED IN A WHITE WINE
> AND ONION CREAM SAUCE
> SHE CHUCKLED AND THOUGHT TO HERSELF
> I DON'T F***ING THINK SO.
>

Zara2008 wrote:

I DON'T F***ING THINK SO.

ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!

A little Light Relief; to my Ancillary Relief woes!