spreading the news

Hello,
Just wondering what approach people take to telling friends and work colleagues about your divorce.
Tis (almost) the season to be jolly, planning big family get togethers and taking partners to work parties.
I''ve hardly told anyone that,actually, Im on my own and Christmas is going to suck.
How to tell them without becoming their constant focus for pity and sympathy. I can''t cope with it all!

Yes, Christmas is especially poignant. Why not ask a friend to quietly tell everyone who needs to know what has happened, but that you want to keep it low key? That will also explain times when you just want to be quiet and not that you''re being uncommunicative. Then just take your time to come to terms with things and Christmas will be over.

It''s actually easier when everyone knows as there are fewer awkward moments when they could put their foot in it. Most people are sensitive enough not to be inquisitive and upset you further.

Best wishes. xx

I hate xmas. I always have. I can''t afford to do it this year. So I am not attending any family functions.

Just going to sleep. It''ll go quicker that way.

Sounds really pathetic I know - but I''d rather that way than getting a present and not being able to reciprocate. The shame would be too much to bare.

I just smile, look the person in the eye, and say "actually, we''re getting divorced". Then they say oh I am so sorry and I say thanks. Then we move on.

Its a good approach Canuck, but I can''t control my emotions enough yet to do this.
Its getting better though.
People I have told have been very supportive and helpful.