Thought I'd share my trust issues -

Read the "will you fall again" and thought I'd share this on a new thread.

I met someone very quickly. We are a year on (yesterday!) and family and friends are all very pleased and accepting of both of us.That in itself made me wary (still always the rebel!!)

On the trust thing I had a real problem trusting him and have even sort counselling for it.

What have I put this man through ...

I have checked his mobile phone
I have checked his email
I had spy software on his pc

Am I proud of what I have done - no!

Did I understand why I did it - no!

Did I tell him - eventually!

Was he pleased with me - err - no!

Did he understand though - YES!!

Did he forgive me - YES.

Have I forgiven myself - not yet.
Do I trust myself not to do this again - not really...

Did I gain anything - no only fed the "there must be something ... I just haven't found it yet"

What do I know do - when I feel I don't trust him and want to check him out I have a list of things to do

from making a cup of tea, having a bath or going for a walk...

Does this man deserve this treatment no.

No advice for anyone else - just thought I would share the bunny boiler behaviour!!

Are you still having counseling for this? If you have sought help with a therapist / relationship advisor and not really been able to move on, it may be worth asking for a referal to a Cognitive Behaviour Specialist. This should help you work through the(very normal) pattern of not trusting. You know that it is unreasonable and unfounded, but the behaviour that is overrriding is the anxiety that he could be cheating.
The one thing I will say, please don't think I'm harsh, but right now there is more chance that your relationship will fail because of your actions, rather than his. Next time you want to sneak a look at his mobile, ask yourself if it's worth loosing it all just to see a couple of texts from him mum....?

Just for the record I am still having counselling. With a CBT NLP counsellor. I have not checked for 3 months plus.

I just wanted to share how damaging trust issues can be and how I am dealing with it.

Good for you Taylr

I so understand those feelings and have had to sort my head out too with the whole trust thing.

Used to look at pics of my bf's ex wife and I am completely opposite - used to think that was a negative 'WHY is he with me then?' - NOW I think that its great as he has not gone for a replica. AM feeling much better about me which makes the trust issues smaller...

still have wobbly moments but thankfully bf deals with it better than I could have imagined and understands why I have my BB (bunny boiler) moments - and they are moments now - not days lol.